Hello! I still do not have a job and things are getting dire—this is a great time to subscribe to the blog for as little as $1.50/month or $15/year, share your favorite post, Venmo em-sk just for fun, or simply leave a like and a comment to show you’re out there. I appreciate you all so much. Luckily, I’m feeling inspired by fashion again…

In a post I made maybe four or five years ago, I decried camo prints, and military-inspired fashion in general, as symptomatic of an increasingly militarized and fascist tenor in our society’s aesthetic codes. I still have hard feelings about the sublimation of tactical gear into mere fashion choices, but I have to admit—ever since moving to PDX and meeting people whose leftism includes a concept of militarization as opposed to the neoliberal “guns are bad” mantra, I have seen the potential for this stuff in my wardrobe.

I still personally wish all guns would disappear from the world and think they’re a coward’s weapon—swords or bows and arrows only would be my ideal—but the idea that the state and its cronies should have a monopoly on violence while the resistance weakly shakes a disapproving finger instead of doing absolutely anything to defend itself is so, so far behind where we are in the reality of 2026. I’m not here to litigate this point or do any actual mobilizing, at least not at this point—this is a fashion blog, after all.

I just wanted to explain why I’ve been able to detach such visual cues as camo print and army green from solely nationalist or fascist implications. I’ve always LOVED utilitarian fashion, as one of my first-ever posts from my now-defunct website six years ago stated, and the thing that draws me to military clothes is their commitment to function: perfectly roomy pockets; hard-to-tear, reinforced fabrics; colors that make you high or low-visibility depending on which way you wear them; temperature-controlling pieces; and so on. Below are different looks that have inspired this new phase of my style, curated outfits filled with shoppable pieces (all secondhand, most under $50), and more.

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

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THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:

Before we get to the shoes, I just want to shout out two scents that were… well, sent to me by two of my favorite brands of all time, Kismet Olfactive and Jorum Studios. One I love (and already knew I loved but now have a gloriously full-sized bottle of), the other not so much.

This look was the first camo print-inflected fit to really catch my eye and make me want to replicate it. I saw a camo military jacket for $50 at my local vintage store then found an almost precise dupe on Depop, the exact one linked just below, actually, haggled it down to $16 (you can usually find at least one good option for under $20 at any given time, I think), and got a $12 orange hoodie (zip-up, as is my preference) for $12 at the new consignment store that just opened up down the street. I like how the bright orange mimics the inner lining of an authentic MA-1 bomber jacket (I got mine here), providing the low vis/high vis contrast that characterizes so much tactical gear. I’m not a fan of a white skirt for practical reasons, so…

…I took a cue from this FRUiTS look and paired the sweatshirt and jacket with a colorful plaid skirt. Not the most practical either, but paired with some (ridiculously expensive secondhand, sorry) buckle-covered, knee-high Converse and a clashing plaid bag, it feels so fresh and energetic:

• Vintage camo jacket - $24.32 (Sale)

• Polo sweatshirt - $31.15

• Vintage plaid skirt - $11.62 (Sale)

• Plaid bag - $24.85

• Knee-high Converse - $315.70

This is one of the simpler looks I fell in love with, the focal point being the saturated green socks that clash slightly with the duller greens of the camo jacket. Adding a French-style striped shirt and patent loafers brings a jolt of preppiness into the otherwise more grunge (in the style of Lindsay Weir) look, and I can’t see exactly what this person is wearing, but the fit lends itself to a leather fanny pack worn crossbody, IMO.

• Vintage camo jacket - $26.22 (sale)

• Striped shirt - $36.40 (Sale)

• Vintage Levi’s jeans - $17.50 (Sale)

• Leather fanny pack - $11.20

• Green socks - $13.30

• Bass Weejuns loafers - $36.40 (Sale)

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From the discordant, exuberant strains of the film’s main theme, I knew Boots Riley’s latest joint, I Love Boosters, would be a feast for the senses. The plot was a bit clunky, though some argue that its didactic nature is a feature, not a bug, but the film’s heavy-handed socialism was preaching to the choir in my case anyway—I didn’t need to be convinced of its message, so I was free to enjoy its immense aesthetic beauty.

Though I hesitate to make this comparison because he’s much less obnoxious than Wes Anderson, Riley takes a similar tack in creating beautiful, poignant images and tableaux and letting them buoy the viewer along rather than relying on an airtight plot. Riley, thankfully, doesn’t deal in the same eerie whiteness that characterizes Anderson’s movies—Boosters is gleefully and pointedly Black, and its brilliant costume designer Shirley Kurata let the various influences of Black-originated style, from that refracted through the lens of gyaru culture to understated but culture-defining ‘70s fits sported by the likes of the Black Panthers.

Japanese-American Kurata, who also famously costumed Everything Everywhere All At Once, treated the characters’ wardrobes with cartoon logic, allowing them multiple outfits per minute and creating looks that seem unlikely given current-day physics (though that is easily explained by a very central plot… device). One of Kurata’s coolest moves was hiring recent fashion grads to make a few key looks, which I note a few of below. This reflects protagonist Corvette’s novice aspirations toward the fashion industry, also visible in outfits fashioned out of the likes of tube socks or ties, which as Kurata mentions, add an element of “resourcefulness” to the film that emphasizes how boosting, or shoplifting and reselling, isn’t due to a lack of resourcefulness—quite the contrary.

I am soon going to pen a piece on the mainstreaming of militant aesthetics, which is definitely one facet of a potential code of socialist fashion, but Riley and Kurata show that maximalism, absurdity, and indulgence can coexist with radical politics. Socialism and communism need not look austere or indistinct, in fact, it’s Christie Smith’s capitalist playing board of human chess pieces that brings uniformity and convention to the film, no matter how bright its technicolors, as seen in these high-qual stills courtesy of Neon (Neon reps, haha, please don’t scroll down any further than your photos :’D):

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

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Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

One of the few press images Neon would actually let me get my hands on is the film’s most prolific: the fashionable foursome are on a retaliatory shoplifting spree, disguising themselves in increasingly hypermaximalist fits, including these obviously Harajuku-inflected looks. As gyaru culture borrowed, sometimes in an overtly racist fashion, Black aesthetics (and skin tones!), so here the ladies borrow it back, with outfit highlights including Mariah’s sculptural layered skirt, Corvette and Sade’s furry boots (Snooki also knew their value back in the day), and Corvette’s anime-style eye makeup under a furry hat that extends into a scarf fitted with handwarmers.

Though the reclamation of these aesthetics by the Black leads is the most inspiring part of the image, Jianhu’s outfit is my favorite of the bunch for a single reason:

Her rubber headpiece hops, skips, and jumps over the lightly dabbled-in swim cap trend of 2024 (yeah, uh, “swimcapcore” didn’t happen) and suggests a doll-like wig, reminiscent of the removable Polly Pocket accessories we chewed on in days of yore. Here, it’s paired with sunglasses that look like they could be Gentle Monster and a spiky pink collar, the streamlined, squeaky head and legs of the outfit balanced out by the lettuce-green feathers (or is it fur?) bursting from her midriff.

This ‘70s look rocked by Sade is on the opposite end of the flamboyant spectrum, with subdued shades of oxblood in a leather trench, turtleneck, and plaid trousers. This is THE fall outfit recipe for pretty much anyone, though Sade’s flawless afro and twin braids that end in beads seamlessly integrating into thick gold hoops are a definitive reminder that like 90% of so-called “universal” style is lifted directly from the Black fashion plates of every decade. Why shouldn’t they lift them back?

Christie (who I maintain should have been played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is the master of volume, making almost-too-short trousers look wicked cool with deeply gathered front pleats and rocking a black turtleneck (an appropriate reference to the likes of Steve Jobs and Lizzie Holmes) under a bloomy bloused topped with a… tie with a collar on it? Or a collar that looks like an open tie? draped louchely around her neck.

Ok, here’s where we get into the images I acquired through, ahem, less than ideal means. I feel like that’s in the spirit of the film, at least, though I do apologize for the low res.

This origami-like, Comme des Garçons-ian blazer is a dash of frenzy atop another dour black turtleneck—almost like the contrast of Christie’s CEO-core, thick-rimmed glasses and her weightless, sometimes-unruly bob.

Onto some cool details of Shirley Kurata’s costuming: I loved that Corvette’s signature turquoise dress, in addition to looking a bit appropriately novice, mimicked the interior of the car that contained some of her most poignant early memories—I wish we’d gotten a bit more in the way of those flashbacks.

Corvette’s chilled-out Adidas V-neck layered over a thermal is made decidedly unchill with the addition of a tie that looks like… a fire hydrant? A hose spout?

Alongside Sade’s ‘70s look from above, Jianhu and Corvette represent extremes of ‘60s style, with the former decked out in a fuzzier interpretation of a classic Jackie O suit and the latter sporting a bubble-hemmed shirt (something I think will supersede the bubble-hem skirt in coming seasons) and a UFO-like saucer of a hat.

Okay, now the quality’s about to get REAL bad for some of these. See the movie, folks!

I loved these clusterfucks of tulle and blooms, at once recalling Midsommar and Kurata’s other most known project, Everything Everywhere All At Once. Sometimes an outfit should just be a Clump Of Stuff, and people like Kurata and Rei Kawakubo of CDG respect that. Maybe Japanese (Kurata is Japanese American, born in LA) designers are even more attracted to the chaotic clump because it’s so contrarian to normative Japanese design codes of minimalism, calm, and “cleanliness.”

Kurata did something super cool and tapped a few Central Saint Martins fashion grads for custom pieces—Alice Wiggin’s sweeping curves and visual puns (is the gigantic “neckline” like the clasp of a coin purse?) show a ton of promise.

Solène Lescouët, a young French designer, also contributed looks to the film—I believe both this preppy villainess dress with draggly sleeves (something I think we will see in more mainstream fashion, in addition to shoulders that veer from bold to brutal) and the “deconstruction” of it below.

Dress-as-environment is a truly radical concept, fit for a radical film.

Another instance of dress transfigured into environmental ambience on Sade when this classic tulle halter…

…burst into a cloud of the same fabric.

Mariah’s relatively simple look (you can’t really see them, but more pointy shoulders!)…

…transformed into the logical conclusion of the nude-on-the-red-carpet trend, emphasizing what most of such looks try to minimize: pendulous breasts and blatant pubes.

Finally, my favorite outfit in the entire movie, worn by Jianhu: what looks to be a Realtree (which I’ve been super into lately)-printed zip corset and maxi skirt, made perfect with slightly stringy (in a good way), slicked-back hair and no accessories. For some reason, I feel like anything else would weigh the look down…

…and of course, it transforms into mossy, leafy tree bark, an under-exploited natural resource in the fashion industry, lol. Not that I’m encouraging stripping trees, but maybe taking a page from their book (or a leaf from their branch, I guess) fashion and structure-wise would be, well… fruitful.

Go see I Love Boosters and report back as to how you feel about it, especially its costuming!

<3 ESK

Hello! Between watching scoops videos on TikTok (if you don’t know what these are, you’re probably not depressed enough to) and freaking out about the never ending unemployment saga (and unemployment benefits that, on the contrary, will end any day now), I have been doing quite a bit of pacing around my neighborhood and occasionally on the treadmill in my non-air conditioned 24 Hour Fitness.

Therefore, I feel fairly qualified to tell you a bit more about the transition to barefoot shoes, what to expect, and how to style these buggers so they look like part of a balanced fashion diet instead of looking like a freakishly-shaped pill hastily shoved into a hunk of cheese—getting yourself to wear these shoes need not be like feeding Benadryl to a dog. Don’t forget to read part one for a full rundown of each shoe I’m wearing below if you haven’t already, then come back for the fits and thoughts and more below.

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

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THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:

Before we get to the shoes, I just want to shout out two scents that were… well, sent to me by two of my favorite brands of all time, Kismet Olfactive and Jorum Studios. One I love (and already knew I loved but now have a gloriously full-sized bottle of), the other not so much.

A long-time favorite of mine, being gifted the large size of Nostalgia has only made me revel in its androgynous grandeur more than ever. Hot, anise-dappled leather melds with rose and herbaceous notes to produce a perfume that smells cozy in cold weather or heady and narcotic in the heat. I could wear it every day and douse my partner in it every day and not get tired of it. The travel size lasted me for almost two years, so you get pretty good bang for your buck, longevity and sillage-wise. I’ve tried all of Kismet’s scents except their new vetiver, which I long to, but nothing compares to Nostalgia. Hell, nothing from almost any other brand does!

On the other hand, Risso’s longevity is off the charts, but in a way I’d rather it not be—I wanted to love Jorum’s latest (I love most of what they make, including my favorite scent of all time Spiritcask), but this springtime scent is so Jo Malone in its taut, buttery (or olive-y I guess, according to the written notes) neroli (orange blossom, essentially) that it just feels overwhelmingly conventional (I also get no pear, a crying shame), not to mention that butteriness strikes a discordant note in my nose—almost like stale cigarettes? I’m reminded of Salt and Stone’s neroli body products which have that same cigarette-like stuffiness and am thinking that maybe I’m just not in a neroli time in my life, though I have historically LOVED orange blossom… who knows. All I know is for me, this was a scrubber, but the very smart perfume people I’ve shown it to have loved it, so maybe my nose is just off-kilter right now. I wish I loved it, but I’m sure Jorum’s next release will knock me off my feet (though I do wish I could smell the line exclusive to their European store!).

Ok, onto the shoes!

With such a feminine shoe, I wanted the rest of the outfit to feel as sporty as possible while also introducing some compelling colors into the mix, so with my thin, warm weather-friendly green socks I added thrifted running shorts (with built-in bike shorts underneath), a V-neck cashmere sweater I inherited from my grandmother, my favorite 100% cotton Gap T-shirt, and my trusty thrifted leather jacket to add some volume and shine up top. I finished off the look with an old bandana tied around my neck, my favorite summer accessory for sweat wicking and wiping, and my Fallen Angels cap from Mature Needleworks, a hat bootlegger I swear by. His lineup currently includes Sade, Serial Experiments Lain, and Evangelion, but he’s always cycling in new jazz and rap musicians, animes, films, and more. I didn’t think I could wear a flat cap until I tried one of his—I think the key is having some flowing locks peeking out underneath, because I always feel like I look weird when I wear one with a ponytail.

I wore these techy, strapped-up sneakers with a skullcap (IYKYK), the same Gap T-shirt layered under an old COS blouse to chill it out a little bit (I feel like layering shirt layers under even shorter layers, as opposed to solely long under short, is coming to the collective’s attention right now), and a sheer lace skirt I got from an artisan in Argentina to try to lend the sneakers some sense of cheekiness. I tried the look with a choker, but the choker plus the skullcap looked costume-y, like an extra in Rent, so I decided to let my tattoos be my only accessories. I think the slightly more fitted, almost fishtail-like silhouette of the skirt is an underrated choice on the sheer skirt scene—most are slip style and cut straight down. Here’s a really cool one, randomly found in an online sex shop? You could easily thrift one like this Kohl’s number (I’ve seen dozens exactly like it) and then just cut out the lining.

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Hi! With an old ankle injury that never healed, flat feet, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and a labral tear in my hip, I thought I always had to wear the cushiest, most supportive shoes on the market, until Somatic’s Dr. Rebecca Shapiro gently advised me that the muscles and joints in my feet (and the rest of my body) would never grow stronger and more resilient if I didn’t try barefoot shoes on for size. All I’d known about barefoot shoes in the past came from dubious sources (think Tao Lin’s Twitter page, lol), and I had never seen a single pair that didn’t aesthetically disgust me, so when my GP confirmed that barefoot shoes would provide the equivalent of hours of boring, rote exercises I’d have to do otherwise to strengthen my feet, I made it my mission to seek out the best-looking (and, yeah, feeling) barefoot-friendly shoes on the market.

I tried on seven pairs (six, all except the Vibram FiveFingers, were generously sent to me by each brand mentioned) and want to try more—below, I have thoroughly reviewed the pairs I’ve worn and list the pairs I want to soon, and in Part 2, I will style them and provide more potent musings on the barefoot “movement” and what I’ve noticed in my feet since beginning my transition! Let me know if you have any questions about barefoot shoes in the comments or my DMs and I’m happy to answer or consult the doctors I’ve talked to for more professional advice. Onward!

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

Share

Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

Best Looking

I’ve been singing the praises of FiveFinger shoes for literal years but balked at actually trying them out once they became a TikTok-cosigned microtrend last summer until I realized that that’s pretty much only happening in NYC. One of the nice parts of living in Portland, Oregon, as I do right now, is that trends take years, if not half-decades, to filter down to the crunchy crowds around these parts, even something as gorp-y as Vibram FiveFingers flats. I’m the only person I’ve seen so far in the city wearing them, which I have been for weeks, clocking in tens of thousands of steps thus far.

Vibram actually accidentally sent me two sizes (I ordered one with my own money that got lost in the mail for weeks, and my replacement was oddly a size smaller than the original one that eventually showed up), and I recommend sizing up, even though that means the cross-foot strap might dangle awkwardly because it seems to be designed a bit too long for the rest of the shoe (I’m working on a solution for this [open to ideas!] and will show you what I mean in Part 2, when I style them). My toes feel AMAZING in these—I have Raynaud’s disease and thus usually poor circulation and numb extremities in any weather less than 75 degrees, but in these, my foot digits (?) feel flexible and full of much-needed blood, not needing to clench or curl at all to keep the shoes comfortable. The top strap and heel cutoff do chafe a bit as you break them (and your feet) in, so I have had to employ many a Band-Aid in this process, and the V-Soul style is definitely best worn on more forgiving surfaces like grass, wood, or carpet, but I’ve been pounding the Downtown PDX pavement in these and my feet haven’t exploded yet.

The biggest pro to these, of course, is their looks: the simple black colorway allows for the suggestion of a traditional Mary Jane shoe to be subverted by the wigglability of each separated toe, and I have worn these to job interviews (pray for me) and nice-ish restaurants alike without feeling weird at all. They straddle the line between disturbing and delicious, which, as you know if you’ve read basically anything of Esque before, is exactly where I like to perch. They set themselves apart from the other “freaky shoes” du jour by actually being functional and training your muscles to hold themselves together instead of simply looking perverse, which makes them big winners in my book.

Best for Working Out

If you want to stay as far away from the distinctive Barefoot Look as possible, the New Balance Minimus line will meet you where you’re at with sneakers that look as inconspicuous as any other pair the brand offers with a low drop, more toe room, and minimal padding. Order a full size to a size and a half up, as I learned to after my usual 6-6.5 morphed into a 7.5 with trial and error.

For my needs and aesthetic proclivities, the BOA version of these shoes is the big winner, augmenting a slip-on design with a sick lace-tightening system that is fun and easy to crank closed, making the first pair above the more accessible of the two. I also think it’s the more attractive, with bungee-like laces tethering wide, velcro-Sketchers-esque straps to the BOA mechanism and a white streak on the heel to break up the black fabric. If you’re a laces purist, though, the regular TR is perfect for you, and I love the above colorway’s tiny shocks of purple.

These shoes are sturdy enough that I’d feel comfortable hiking on them (or, at minimum, clocking in miles and miles on a treadmill or pavement)—their only downsides are that they seem a little more construction-heavy than all the other barefoot shoes I tried, which leads me to believe that they’re not as good for training your feet to strengthen themselves (though might mean they’re the perfect transition from regular shoe to more extreme styles), and the heel cup is fairly large, so there might be a bit of wiggle room if you have smaller backs of your feet like I do, a shortcoming easily remedied with the use of thicker running socks.

Best for Easy Styling

Alohas are another brand that, like New Balance, makes “regular” shoes well and therefore knows it can’t get away with shilling ugliness in its barefoot section. Alongside a few pairs of good-looking sneakers are ballet flats like the Nairas which easily stand up to their conventional counterparts, style-wise. I love the faded, subtly patinated brown leather colorway above and the way the fabric gathers in to the middle of the shoe with gentle ripples. These shoes could be styled with virtually anything and can pass for fancy-enough, no problem, the perfect solution to the problem of wearing barefoot shoes to a wedding or funeral and not looking like a dick.

Size up, as I should have: though the toe box is correctly proportioned for a barefoot shoe, the leather is pulled tight across it and can use extra room to let your toes breathe as they should be able to for this style. The soles are uncushioned but have a bit more solidity than the other fancier style I tried, so pebbles and such aren’t as much of an annoyance as you amble your way down the road. The biggest issue I have with these is that the skinniness of the elasticized strap means that it puts a bit too much pressure on the top of one’s foot (the metatarsals, I believe), which goes against the barefoot shoe philosophy and makes these harder to wear than they should be, but perhaps this problem would be solved by sizing up, as I recommended. I love the little silver hardware at the heel and think that if I were going to recommend any barefoot shoe to a fashion freak who refuses to compromise their look at any cost, even to their arches, it’d be these.

Best Formal-ish

These unexpected winners are from a local Oregon label that veers into overtly hippie territory with some of its designs but also offers some compulsively wearable silhouettes. I would feel completely comfortable wearing these to the most formal event I can conceive of being invited to (uh, like, this week’s Barefoot Shoe Expo? Invite me next year guys, I’m a convert!), they are a true neutral, slipper-style flat that would blend into any look (and I mean that in a good way—sometimes you don’t wanna be making that FiveFingers statement. Like at a funeral).

The sole of these is as flexible as all the rest but is a bit softer with an ever-so-thin layer of cushioning that doesn’t compromise the barefootedness of the construction but does feel great against the foot pads, though it also means that little things like cracks in the road and pebbles (which also easily find their way into the rather wide mouth of the shoe) do pack a punch as you traipse over them. The toe box is perfect, though you might actually be able to size down with these puppies, as I feel I have a ton of room to breathe, and that’s meant I’ve needed to tie the top cord fairly tight to feel secure in the shoes, which in turn, induces the same issue as the Alohas—metatarsal compression. The heels and toes of this style require absolutely zero break-in period, as the leather is BUTTER-soft, but the tie requires finagling and I wish it were thicker and/or stretchier though that would definitely compromise the look they’re going for, which I assume is Nicole Saldaña-inspired, at least to a degree. I would absolutely love to try other styles from this powerhouse of a small business—perhaps its ankle-strap flats?

Best for Summer ‘26

The above are the sandals I generously received from Xero alongside the ultimate winners below, and I was struck by how similar they looked to the Miu Miu bungee slingbacks that dominated a few summers ago, as well as their more-accessible runoffs via brands such as J.Crew. I am now wishing I’d waited a few weeks to discover the brand, because…

…Xero just released a very-appropriate collaboration with the very same J.Crew, iterating upon the Genesis Sandals I received with some fresh colorways—I especially love the gingham sole and mustard cord of the two shown above. This is the only shoe I haven’t thoroughly road-tested because It’s been just a hair too cold for full toe exposure (and I do live in a downtown area, so it would take a bit more than 75 degree weather to entice me into hiking around in thong sandals).

The soles of these shoes are basically a suggestion of a layer, meant to protect your feet from errant splinters and little else—advanced-level barefootism. I hope by the time it’s beach weather out here, my feet are primed to give them a fair shot, but in the meantime, it’s undeniable how good they look, the closest to their “regular” counterparts out of any of the styles mentioned and some of the most delightful, in my opinion. I would love to wear these with baggy jeans, cargo pants, or an athletic skirt, and Part 2 will hopefully see me doing their adorableness justice.

Best Overall

They may not be the most attractive of the bunch, nor the most exciting, but Xero’s new Prio Coasts are by far the shoes I have gotten the most wear out of in this roundup. They hit all the barefoot marks and need absolutely zero break-in time, with no irritating rubbing or painful tightness to be found and easily-adjustable elastic laces. Their slip-on technology is completely seamless, an enormous plus for someone with hip and back problems who is loathe to bend down for a shoe, and their soles are thick enough that they feel great even on bumpier terrain without compromising their flexibility.

I only wish for less conspicuous branding, more fashionable colorways (tap J.Crew again, perhaps? Or, ahem, me?), and a thousand more pairs for my greedy self, as I feel worried I’ll burn through these in about six months, wearing them as often as I do. The off-white, which I think is the best colorway on offer right now, does stain as easily as you’d expect it to, but I have yet to hand-wash the shoes as recommended—spot-cleaning them has yielded satisfactorily fresh results, so I have high hopes. If you can only afford a single pair of barefoot shoes and want daily drivers that will be kind to your feet without looking ridiculous or hideous, especially if you’re averse to laces, this is the single best pair I could recommend.

Most Wanted

Here are a few pairs I unsuccessfully tried to get my hands on, but loved for their looks and would still like to review someday:

I feel like the thick strap would be the perfect antidote to the metatarsal compression that caused me problems in the other ballet flats, plus these look like they could stand a bit more rough riding than the two I mentioned.

I’ve always wanted a metallic sneaker and these give the illusion of “regular” shoes (with all the stylishness that entails) while still, ostensibly, fitting all the barefoot metrics.

Another shoe I’ve wanted for awhile but known would kill my feet: the coveted deck shoe. I love this rich mahogany colorway and the thoughtful stitching details on these zero-drop, roomy toe-box comps.

The most luxurious-looking (and some of the most expensive) shoes on the list, I wonder how mules figure in to the barefoot scene, as I always assumed the slip-on style was inherently stressful on the feet, with all the toe power they require to stay on—as I said, I’d love to investigate further!

More adorable sneakers, these more Cali-style, Vans-esque, skeeter shoes—I like the chunky laces and the animal-print patterns are bait for the fashion set right now.

Yet another style of shoe I assumed I could never wear because I thought I needed constant arch support and cushioning, these huaraches look exactly like their “regular” counterparts and I would simply love to sport them all summer.

Lastly, a “barefoot” version of chukkas in the vein of Clarks Wallabees—not to repeat myself for the umpteenth time, but I didn’t think I would ever be able to covet this style due to the original’s rigid, block-like sole, but these are apparently flexible enough to fit the barefoot profile, and I’d like to try them on expeditiously.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where paid subscribers will get a look at how I’d style each of the seven shoes I have tried so far, plus more musings on the barefoot transition and what I’ve noticed in my feet since starting it!

<3 ESK

Hi all! I’ve started checking back into the collective fashion consciousness in anticipation of summer 2026 in which I Will Have A Job (pleaseohGodplease). I don’t even think about phenomena like the ones below as “trends” anymore—I reserve that dubious distinction for the ultra-specific, object fetish-centric, rapid-cycling items that lack any of the three must-haves in a garment IMO: intrigue, pragmatism, and genuine wearability.

This means that instead of seeing the new style codes each season brings as trends to be cycled through, I see them as new facets of aesthetic intention accreting (if you aren’t familiar with that word, may I humbly recommend you read some Clarice Lispector? I wasn’t either until I read her!) onto the hyperobject that is Fashion, like a snowball tumbling down a hill, growing more layered and robust by the inch.

Perhaps one day the snowball will hit a tree and we’ll see an utter deconstruction of the Fashion we’ve built over the past 10-20 years, but I don’t see keeping abreast of the ebbs and flows in style codes as following trends necessarily, at least not if they keep the three must-haves in mind. It’s actually one of the few things that still gets me really revved up about the Fashion World as such: seeing the convergent evolution of disparate designers’ mentalities, especially across international contexts.

I, as is my habit, am only featuring independent, medium-to-low profile designers in this post, and by including DIY and comp ideas alongside their pieces I don’t mean to denigrate the value of their work or IP. If you can afford to, I actually think now IS the time to throw money the way of these artists (and, haha, your favorite bloggers!?). I just simply cannot spend more than $50, $100 absolute maximum, typically $30 on a single piece but will not participate in 99% of fast fashion endeavors (I’ll buy a tee from Gap or Uniqlo, that’s pretty much it), so getting creative with vintage or handmade items is how I can realistically engage with these concepts. The instant I get a job, I’m going to start strategizing as to how that might shift.

With that in mind, let’s check out what’s in store for Summer 2026!

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

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Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

What I’m noticing:

• Faded neons (especially yellow/green/pink)

• Macrame fringe

• Operatic accessories a la shawls, boleros (especially in crimson)

• Tulle, frothy-layered or slinky-sheer

• Micro stripes

• Metallic leather

• Australian designers

• Under-constructed garments

• Swimwear as all-purpose wear

• Collars of all sorts

There is no reason why a rugby should cost more than $200 MAX MAX MAX (not even hoity-toity Rowing Blazers ones do), but these Connor Ives pieces do introduce the perfect faded neon colorways I expect we’ll be seeing all over once the JFK Jr. acolytes start doing cocaine again, ‘80s-style, for the season.

Again, not a necessary price point, but there is a special specificity to Ives’ rendition of the easy layering piece—maybe buy (or make!) one like the below then chop off the strands at the knees?

Bringing the fringe up top, Ives’ version of a Piano Shawl (attached to a floral gown) is already sold out, but luckily the accessory itself is super easy to find for prices that reach down to $20 and would pair perfectly with a sleeveless maxi dress if draped strategically.

Ok, I saw a post about Zucca’s (a Japanese brand that has really faded into the background since this era) SS03 collection on Instagram and was absolutely taken by its colorways (pastels that look like bloodless neons), ruffles (tuxedo-like and contrast-embroidered for the menswear, frothy tulle for women), and layering that looks absolutely contemporary. This show could have come out last September and I wouldn’t question it.

The Etsy shop linked above sells some corny stuff but also some pretty accurate Molly Goddard comps for like 1/19th the price of the latter, FYI.

I’m so in love with these frilly, spongy belts paired with sporty-ish sheer layers and can’t find anything comparable to this accessory. Someone, make them!

Though the sheer skirt might feel a bit played out at this point, the visionary color selections (see other sections of this post for even more inspo here) and subtle embroidery make Everyone’s Mother’s special.

No one is using metallic leather like Everyone’s Mother, whether integrated into a top or as a standalone brooch—it’s such a unique endeavor, in fact, that I couldn’t find anything else quite like it, but I do think metallic leather anything works during the summer, especially paired with a swimsuit.

Incredible inspiration for a DIY—simple knee-length cotton shorts embroidered or patched with teardrops!

Brilliant Aussie designer Niamh Galea has rendered iconic silhouettes like maple leaves more cool than kitschy by suggesting off-kilter styling that plays with skin exposure and gendered convention.

Galea has pared down and focused her work to create some really compelling basics, including the perfect teensy bloomer…

…though you can get extremely similar ones for a few dozen dollars cheaper via LA brand Charlie Beads.

I will never not love Galea’s removal Baby Tee, and if you can’t swing the $103 version, think even a raw-cut version would work, especially as a swim cover-up if you’re a little concerned about chest popping.

Giovanna Flores’ work provides endless DIY inspiration, from cutting apart and piecing back together (in a slightly more shapely way) an oversized vintage polo to simply sewing a flat or two of crunchy fabric onto the front of a T-shirt dress. Don’t overthink it!

The looser and more sketchy the top, the better for SC103. Look for Cop Copine and Marithe and Francois Girbaud, as always—these also look super simple to sew at home if you have a whit of talent, which I do not, so I will shut up now.

I love these roomy faux-bloomers that kind of recall Dauan Jacari’s boxer-skirt creations married with cargo shorts.

Somehow, SC103 makes designs that could look super retro feel Bohemian and relaxed—I think the rugby shoulders (and styling the dress over clashing pants and/or long sleeves) do a lot in service of that.

Tragically, my favorite piece in this entire collection is one that I virtually cannot find a comp to. If you can, please let me know! The neckline, keyholes, and draping are just too specifically perfect.

Another instance of nouveau neon in a cartoonist top via another Aussie, Maroske Peech, that kind of relates to Emily Watson’s work as seen below.

I’ve never loved a batwing OR a one-sleeved top until this one.

Some crazy Etsy comps that come with floral pins…

…and matching bunched-up leggings that might be able to be replicated with Tall-sized leggings on a Short-sized person.

Lastly, you really can’t duplicate the outfittiness of Emily Watson’s tankini fits (though I think I’ve seen Temu try to tragic effect). This color circles back to the Conner Ives we started out with—imagine covering this suit up with a boxy, faded neon rugby at the end of an exuberant beach day!

I am so tired, signing off with love!

<3 ESK

Hello! The only thing that’s truly inspired me in the fashion sphere this past month was ’s piece on the fashion of Archie Comics’ best girls, Betty and Veronica. Head over there for some brilliant research and insights into the illustrations and inspirations of these fashion plates. Then come back here for some ultra-subjective commentary on a handful of their (let’s be real, mostly Veronica’s) summer-ready outfits from a schlub whose only qualification is that a solid 65% of their childhood (the time not spent in abject misery, basically) was spent reading both contemporary Archie digests from the grocery store and old ‘60s and ‘70s Archies rescued by their mother from their grandma whose trigger-happiness regarding throwing cool shit away lives on in legend. To sweeten the deal, below the fold I’ve included shoppable outfits inspired by my chosen comic book pages if your summer plans are less Snooki-oriented and more in the “sharing a milkshake with your virginal polycule” camp. Bonus points for wearing a fuckass Jughead cap like the one from Urte Kat’s newest season:

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

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THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little [actually, this one’s really long] preview of what’s below the paywall:

Veronica’s tangerine fit above is what the Carolyn B*ssette acolytes WISH they were giving: clean lines, a perfectly struck balance between sporty (racing stripes, headband) and ladylike (bangles, T-bar cutout flats). The slightly drop-waist silhouette is what makes this a truly contemporary look. Now, Betty… looks a mess. The nonbinary-core rolled-sleeve patterned button-up is thoroughly Babysitters Club-ified by short overalls (not a garment I would ever recommend, especially in a bright color). I do like the idea of pointelle knee-high socks, but I am really growing weary of the boxy shorts + high socks/boots combo. Betty looks contemporary, too, in a bad way—like she is attaching to five trendy styles at once but only after they’ve been filtered violently through the sediment of the Target sale section. It’s giving Wild Fable.

More excellent showings from Baby V: sunglasses layered over a wide, ear-covering headband for a sensible, quotidian essence of Grace Kelly; a wide boat neck on a ribbed blouse/thin sweater, green + red but NOT Christmassy (a la Wong Kar-wai); a top with a crazy scalloped crop and one with an even crazier belly-button-touching V-neck layered over a long-sleeve; and pants with a closure that kind of recalls those godforsaken military jackets that are due to rot in dark corners of Buffalo Exchange any day now. All so old-school but indubitably fresh.

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I was so unemployed, in fact, that another big Substacker called me up to interview me about my bleak, jobless life for an article in a big-name publication. I opened up to her about how much I’d struggled, the odd and unsettling treatment I’d received from my ex-boss, and how fearful I was for the future. Before the article was even published, this writer had gone on to fill my old position at the publication I used to work for. I guess the “different direction” was “someone with more Instagram followers.”

Since then, I’ve freelanced for multiple other Substack writers* (who generally acted like “allowing” me to write for them was doing me a huge favor), two of whom unceremoniously and completely ghosted me after repeatedly praising my work, which I agreed to allow them to take credit for because I didn’t know how else I could pay my bills. And I did (do) have bills, some from medical situations but most because, during the first few years of the pandemic, I spent compulsively and irresponsibly on clothing in an attempt to be able to create the kind of content I saw performing well on Substack: try-ons, outfit compositions, real-life reviews. I loathed the idea of shilling products I’d never tried out myself. I felt myself growing completely detached from the reality of physical garments, especially after having attended one (1) single “brand dinner” (which my ex-boss called me about twenty minutes prior to see if I could replace her as she had a last-minute engagement) and receiving hundreds of dollars worth of clothes and food and realizing that there was truly no way I could ever even hope to make a dent in fashion writing with the following and finances I had/have.

*It should be noted that and are the effervescent exceptions to this non-ideal treatment, both have buoyed and inspired me over the years with their incredible generosity, gorgeous attitudes, and brilliant minds and I will write for/with them until the world explodes.

Ten years ago, an idiotic Halloween costume I wore went mega-viral and I garnered 20k+ followers in a matter of days, numbers that barely mean anything in 2026 but carried a good amount of cache in 2016. I made the most of the account, memeing in the belligerent, misguided feminist tradition of the times, posting semi-nudes covering my intimates with Maggie Nelson and Anne Carson tomes (I was 18, guys). I deleted the account permanently a year later because I could feel that it was making me bad in ways I couldn’t even fully comprehend but knew I had to avoid. On the train, I’d make eye contact with someone and become convinced they knew who I was, then chastise myself for feeling so important, then receive a DM 30 minutes later: “Hey, this is creepy, but I think I just saw you at Hoyt-Schermerhorn…” It was an ego yo-yo, and it was genuinely startling how many of the “friends” I had suspiciously acquired in the literal weeks following my ridiculous ascent completely dropped me the instant I pulled the plug on that account.

I made a decision that I was proud of at the time, but now, getting let go for no apparent reason from a $12k a year position to be replaced by someone with more followers than I have, watching people pick up brand deals with the ease of choosing grocery items, getting flown out for events and wined and dined after gifting suites, I suppose I made a grave error. I wish I could sell out now, and I’ve kind of tried, but every time I do, I feel sticky and stupid and gross and baldly pathetic—the only thing I really had to my name was a wimpy shred of authenticity, and I guess that’s not worth much anymore, even to myself.

I have recently completed some freelance copywriting projects I’m proud of, but it’s not enough to pay my bills. I don’t know where next month’s rent is coming from. I was let go from a service job two days after Christmas and haven’t been able to get another one because the PDX economy is so devastating right now. My paid subscriptions are dropping like flies and I do not blame them because I simply cannot muster interesting enough fashion content right now—how could I give a shit about Tibi’s SS26 or Ilia skin tint when I am just barely staving off thoughts of my imminent doom? I borrowed money from Stripe to help with a recent, necessary move and with these subscriber changes, I won’t be able to pay that off, adding to the drove of debt collectors that call me so many times a day I have my phone permanently silenced. I know so many other people are in similar situations, but no one ever writes about it publicly because it’s so embarrassing and pathetic and icky both to share and to hear. I don’t begrudge anyone who didn’t read this—it is, by all accounts, a sob story, and I have never done anything like this before because I’m acutely aware of how unflattering and impotent it is. I don’t expect anything to come of this post, I just wanted to get it off my chest—if I really am Substack’s biggest loser, then at least I’ve achieved something unique in my life!

If you do want to hire me for copy or editorial writing jobs, lol, some samples are here, my CV is here, and you can reach me at emseely@gmail.com.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day and no one loses hope.

<3 ESK

Hello! It’s WARM OUT IN OREGON, and I am losing my mind in a really lovely way. Still technically unemployed, still very open to work (if you give me a lead I’ll give you a comped subscription forever and ever), but it genuinely feels like a joke to be job hunting in this economy, so I’m allowing my vocation this week to be soaking up as much sun as my SPF-ed up, pallid ass can handle. This post definitely reflects my mildly unhinged state, which I am trying my best to embrace in honor of my new patron saint, Nicole Polizzi. Below, above the paywall, is what you get when you ask me to simply review a pair of shoes, and below the paywall are Snooki styling tips I WILL be utilizing this summer. Onward!

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

Share

THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little [actually, this one’s really long] preview of what’s below the paywall:

Two recent major occurrences in my life: I’ve been watching Jersey Shore for the first time (currently halfway through the Italy season) and Adidas sent me a pair of the shoes they’re releasing in collaboration with Pharrell. In between agonizing bouts of Ron/Sammi ‘redemption arcs’ and realizing that I could use Snooki’s attitude as a DBT coping strategy (not taking questions on this—yet), I corresponded with some kind members of the team who could only give me vague conceptions of what these impending shoes would be like. I was asked if I had any questions. The only answers I got regarding the shoe’s actual construction were that “The inlay consists of an EVA insole to provide cushioning, while the outsole is direct-injected for an optimized fit and overall comfort.”

I immediately balked at them when I received the package—absolutely zero arch support and a construction I could barely comprehend. However, I have recently been advised by multiple doctors I trust that I need to stop wearing padded, stabilizing, protective footwear if I ever want to strengthen the intrinsic muscles in my feet and stop suffering from pathetically droopy arches.

Though this counters every instinct in my body given that every joint I own is chronically painful and every time I wear non-supportive shoes for more than five minutes I end up limping for the rest of the day, I couldn’t exactly argue with two intelligent, competent, licensed professionals and have thus begun my journey toward the oxymoronic “barefoot footwear.” I can’t lie, I was excited at the idea that maybe, just maybe I could divest from the hideous orthotics I’d been married to since wrecking my shit for the first time ten years ago—were my underused Sambas finally medically mandated? I tend to vibe with Adidas’ aesthetic choices, if not its engineering ones, so I was excited to receive these shoes. Imagine my dual delight and terror when I opened the box to find…

…shoes that would have somehow put Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino in a neck brace [again] out of sheer enthusiasm. The Adidas x Pharrell “VIRGINIA Vario FLAT EARTHER” is the equivalent in full-grain leather footwear to Vinny’s uncle who relentlessly hits on JWOWW and can’t speak more than half a sentence in non-slurred words. Graphic, peacocking green (or black, if you foolishly choose subtlety where none is warranted) stripes wrap around the body of each cream-colored vamp, countered by abstractly off-kilter toe caps speckled with perforations. These shoes are not for the weak of heart.

Like a hybrid of bowling shoes and smoking slippers, these slip-ons feature magnetized flaps that don’t actually adjust their size or serve any noticeable function I could conceive of besides aesthetically. They are satisfying to idly play with, flipping the flaps back and forth, but I do have a hard time welcoming with open arms design choices that crib from functional aesthetics without any basis in pragmatism.

The same thing could be said for the shoes’ teensy, logo-bedecked tongue: usually included on shoes with laces to keep them sturdily tied and prevent them rubbing on the foot, this tongue is obviously vestigial. I was quite charmed with its tininess to the extent that I didn’t even begrudge the logo placement. I’m getting too easy.

Apparently, the FLAT EARTHERS derive from a 2004 Adidas style, the Yoga Vario, which focused on minimal, sleek construction for maximum grounding. Perfect for the urgings of my doctors to forego orthopedic amenities in favor of tough love for my toes, no?

Unfortunately, I had walked for about five minutes on concrete pavement before two things started to happen: those EVA (a type of low-profile, shock absorbing foam) insoles began to curl under my toes, abandoning their posts as protectors of my pressure points almost before their assignments even started, and my right Achilles began to rub so violently on the back of its shoe that I sustained a Wound (far beyond a Blister) that ended up sticking around for two weeks and required I use heavy-duty Band-Aids even with my ol’ faithful footwear for that span of time.

These shoes, though derived from yogic roots, make me want to do nothing besides sit at a rinky-dink curbside table baking in the sun (sans SPF), nurse an Aperol Spritz, and chain smoke, and honestly, that’s pretty much the extent of what I can do in them without having to hail a [Pauly D voice] CAB or enlisting some poor schlub to carry me home. I think that’s beautiful, and maybe sometime in the future, after I’ve acclimated my maladaptive soles to the sidewalk, I’ll be able to use these as a piece de resistance in my speculative (but inevitable) Summer of Snooki Stylings. These shoes will be available via Adidas on April 11th. Thanks for sharing these bad-influence booties, Adidas team!

Did I say Summer of Snooki? You’d better believe it. Here’s the plan…

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Hey hey! Here’s a short and sweet post for all about the things I’ve recently acquired, made. or plan to acquire or make soon, from high-end scrunchies to Hangyodon. XX!

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

Share

Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

Dali, the mastermind behind the phenomenon Puppet Parfum, assisted me in acquiring a 15mL bottle of 100% Magic, a staticky, sparkling, peppery, citrusy composition I’ve loved since I first sniffed it many moons ago. If you’re a fan of Clue’s Warm Bulb (as you know I am), this fragrance is its more daring, more fruity (take that as you will), more effervescent sibling-in-law—to be clear, neither replaces or justifies eschewing the other one, but if you are enamored with one I highly suggest you test out the other (when you can, Puppet’s drops are deadly, which thrills me—Dali deserves every single success). Imagine sticking your plastic fork into a socket at one of those birthday parties we’d have at a children’s locale where they did your hair in scalp-numbing twists and dandruff-y glitter and pretending to be electrocuted to pull focus from the mediocre magician displaying their wan array of doves. That’s 100% Magic, baby. Best fragrance purchase in months, easily.

Good Squish had a clearance sale, and let me make it quite clear to you: DO NOT BUY THEIR SCRUNCHIES FULL-PRICE. The piece, rendered in Japanese nylon, is absolutely gorgeous and features a neon green bungee toggle (not pictured) that allows for tightening and loosening since you obviously can’t loop this scrunchie around your hair more than once. I think it’s quite a fetching hair accessory, much bigger than I imagined but subdued enough in its rugged materials and dusty pink shade that I can wear it whenever I damn well please. HOWEVER, these are still not worth $70 with shipping. $30 is still extremely steep but if you think of it like a piece of jewelry or a hat, both of which it kind of is, it becomes more understandable.

When I saw this lip stuff splayed across the Great ’s page replete with recommendations from her associates, I fell in love with its promises of the perfectly blurry, mirror-free application of a romantic tint to my lips and cheeks. Once I get a job, this will be the first and only beauty product I pursue.

Inspired by this image, I decided to create a little photo booth pic tableau with my favorite snap of myself and my guy. It was SHOCKINGLY hard to find an appropriate lace doily, but Memory Den has them aplenty if you’re in PDX (literally nowhere else I searched had them!). My biggest snafu was that the frame itself didn’t have enough room to accommodate a thick layer of fabric in between the backing and the glass, so I ended up having to go glassless and glue the lace on from the front, cutting and tucking it under the frame until it looked decent, hence the reason the image is slightly off-center, but I think that just adds to its charm. This has enthused me into the desire to complete 10000 more simple DIYs for my new place, most notably:

Foosball goalie hangers,

wire clothes hanger mail/literature holders,

and embossed tin matchbook covers. More scheming here.

I got this stuff a few weeks back and it’s the only hair product in my budget I’ve ever found genuinely “salon quality.” My scalp has been begging for a gentle but thorough cleanser for a while now and this has done me so good the three weeks I’ve used it (once a week only)—my hair is less tangled, less broken-looking, and shinier!

I wrote about my speculative Gap haul the other week and I’ve finally come into contact with a few items—this bralette is solid and feels hardy enough to stand up to many a wash. My breasts are almost too big for it, so anyone C cup or above, tread carefully.

This tank is fantastic—the perfect slinky to solid ratio, cut in mostly cotton. However, it runs a bit long in the torso in a way I didn’t quite expect, given that the models on the website all have it scrunched up the wazoo—nice for a full-coverage situation but less adhering to my summer 2026 agenda of constant slutdom.

These 100% cotton T-shirts are golden. Opaque enough to not wear a bra with no fear but sheer enough to show a colorful bra in service of the aforementioned slutdom and cut at the exact right point on the hips, the only thing I’d warn about these tees is that they run small, especially in the shoulder area. This is me in a Small, and it’s almost too small for my liking.

Same size—I love the hemline crop but the sleeves would be a little silly-looking if they were even a few millimeters shorter, IMHO.

I wanted to experiment and got this T-shirt a size up, in medium—you can see the sleeves look much roomier and more natural around my arms with nary a compromise to the perfectly-cropped hemline. These shirts are so comfortable and feel hardy enough to stand up to a summer of washes without undermining their flexibility and airiness—I’d say these give the Uniqlo tees a run for their money.

I heard that Areaware was closing, so when I had the chance, I picked up one of its night lights made in collaboration with good ol’ Dusen Dusen at a local in-person shop. Even though this color combo doesn’t make for the best lighting (I think the green light looks the coolest when lit up), it matched my dreamhouse color scheme.

This thing has saved me from so many disastrous trips and falls in the past week, I am forever in its debt. Sharp photosensor, too.

For my birthday at the beginning of the month, I ordered myself this guy. Hangyodon. He only just arrived, and I’d gotten him unstuffed because a month ago I naively believed that my life would allow for a prompt trip to Build-A-Bear to get him filled according to my firmness specifications. It is not so, but I simply can’t wait until he is fully realized and decked out, first in his cutie pajamas (pictured) and then in the pair of overalls I can’t stop obsessively imagining him in. Hangyodon is my favorite Sanrio character, and though it took me a second to get over how they anthropomorphized him more than I bargained for in this Build-A-Bear, I am now completely devoted to this doll, its dazzlingly soft pelt, and its octopus friend Sayuri.

I wrote about these the other week, and both my sister and I ended up loving them—these are the two scents I got and they’re both exquisite. Circe is an oily, salty, fermented bready delight and Deja Vu is a mellow but romantically saccharine middle school makeup concoction. Both I warm using my candle warmer instead of burning and I think they’ll last for, at minimum, a year each (and I got the small ones).

comp

Thanks for perusing these pieces with me! See you sooner than later.

<3 ESK

Hi all! I’m having a hard time sifting through the dregs of the cold season and absolutely cannot wait for the warmth to settle in. As such, this week I am sharing, alongside a rhapsodic review of Serviette’s discovery set, a year-old piece on the so-called (by me) “Midwest Perfume Boom” that was published behind a paywall by Dirt and has remained fairly inaccessible all this time. As always, if you want to read it and can’t swing the $1.50 minimum subscription fee, just shoot me a response to this email and we’ll make it work :-)

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

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THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:

How do I love Serviette? It’s absolutely impossible for me to count the ways. The perfumer/founder (a rarer combination than you’d think), Trey Taylor, sent over this discovery set alongside a hand-picked book. I received No. 91/92: A Diary of a Year on the Bus by Lauren Elkin and based on the other picks I’ve seen on the Serviette story from people who received this perfume/book pairing situation, Trey genuinely and thoughtfully picked out a different book for each recipient. The presentation, what with the Semiotext(e) and the embroidered handkerchief included, was already wowing me when I smelled the first fragrance. My jaw, I am not exaggerating, dropped open like a broken dummy’s.Scents like these are not being created elsewhere.

Starting with my least favorite, which is better than my favorite fragrance in most houses’ lineups, Frisson D’Hiver gives me the precise impression of a Red Vine candy frozen shallowly into an ice-capped flower field. I think something about the orange blossom + musk and vanilla is giving me that red “licorice” tang, which fades into the skin so elegantly that it hurt to rank this the lowest.

Next, Sour Diesel is the corrupt answer to Oddity’s Delulu, a peppery, rhubarb-heavy, candied kush confection that, again, takes an incredible, poignant journey on the skin. The cannabis note is pronounced and obvious but contains zero smokiness or char—this is fresh, sticky, pure bud baked into a peppered rhubarb galette (somehow to delicious effect). This is by far the longest-lasting of the five fragrances, which is my only gripe with them: ephemerality in perfume doesn’t bother me much, but I need a travel size, at least, so I can reapply these fragrances over the course of the day!

Byronic Hero is the Rose I never thought I’d find: damn sexy, medieval and smoldering in sensibility, rock-n-roll in an ancient, primal sense. This one is also longer-lasting: I applied it last night and still get hints of it when I turn my head today. It makes me want to grow my hair long and let it tangle, makes me want to blow clove smoke into my enemies’ faces, makes me want to do a poetry reading for the first time in five years—yeah, it’s lethal stuff. THIS is the rose hater’s rose perfume, like a rose perfume tried to commit suicide by pumping car exhaust into its closed garage.

Finally, my two favorites…

…number two is Ruche, an addictive and invigorating slap of pepper and raspberry and Galbanum straight to the dome, intensified by galbanum, a green, balsamic resin, and sandalwood at the bottom. This fragrance pulls absolutely zero punches and as such, it’s a miracle of creation that it works so well—if you’re easily triggered to headache by sandalwood, I’d still try this one out. It’s like that drink, an Adios Mother Fucker, that’s a combination of basically every hard liquor in the well but somehow goes down like water. I’d never thought I could fall in love with a raspberry fragrance as I don’t even eat the stuff, but this fragrance sits on the skin in such a creamy but sharp layer of enticement that I couldn’t help it.

Ohh, Priscus. This is Serviette’s newest scent and the first one I tried out of the box, and it will be my first full bottle from them whenever I get a goddamn job (still open to leads!). It is umeboshi to its natural conclusion, with plum blossom, wine, and fruit seeming to ferment in a solution of herbs and spices. I put this on and immediately CRAVED umeshu. The fragrance is lighthearted but stoic, mature but party-ready, and near-narcotic in its too-short fade on skin. It’s both syrupy and effervescent, like stewed plums poured onto sparkling spring water. It would work just as well in October as it does in March, and I look forward to wearing it year-round. I am a bad writer, I suppose, as I cannot describe to you in words how comforting, invigorating, and provocative Priscus is on my wrist, somehow all at once. This is a work of mad genius, and I hope I meet Trey sometime soon so I can gauge his madness for myself (I think it’s the really good kind).

Ugh. I hate to report this, but Dieux sent me a ton of Instant Angel for the product’s anniversary, and… this shit works. Once I started using it twice a day, the patches of dead skin I had from winter Tretonoin use completely disappeared and my skin has, quite honestly, never looked better. I’m SORRY I know it’s EXPENSIVE :(

This is a LOT less exciting than the previous items, but just wanted to let you know that right now the code BEST layers on to the already 40% off sale at Gap, so this 100% cotton T-shirt in a large variety of colors and sizes is under $14 right now. I might pick a few up, though these days I’m so wary of online shopping and there are barely any chain shops in PDX so I can never try stuff on before I buy, which is annoying. I really do need some basic tees, though.

I got the $18 ripoff of these mats, but if I could’ve, I’d have gotten this one—it seems a lot less janky and junky than mine, less liable to fall apart. I’ve only just started using my acupressure mat, so we’ll see if it satisfies anything besides my proclivity toward harmless pain! You can get 20% off and free shipping if it’s your first Grove purchase with WELCOME at checkout.

The Apocalyptic Sensibilities of the Midwestern Perfume Boom

Originally published by Dirt

Middle America’s fertile soil has proven the ideal ground for inspired new fragrance houses that teeter on the edge of all we know

If you have encountered a perfume that smells like a light bulb on the brink of fizzling out, a sparkling arcade with lime cola spilled across its freshly-waxed flooring, or a mysterious speculative infection that plagues the gluten industry in an imagined future, you’ve likely already noticed that a large percentage of the most radical, inspired, and specific fragrances currently on the market originate in the Midwest. Have you noticed, then, the apocalyptic sensibilities that permeate this new scene?

Over the past three years, houses like Clue, Pearfat Parfum, and agar olfactory (all three based in Chicago, Illinois) have redefined the perfume paradigm of the nation. Pushing a more sculptural understanding of scent with their experimental offerings, these houses have initiated a veritable “Midwestern Perfume Boom,” electrifying mainstream expectations of niche perfumery and establishing the Midwest both as a functional Mecca of the American fragrance industry and as a source of inspiration that continues to resonate throughout the world.

Aside from a shared origin point, there’s something more ineffable congealing these projects into a cohesive bloc, something that can be identified by scent. Fragrances like Multiball one of the most popular fragrances, by Pearfat Parfum’s Alie Kiral, are charged with tension between two facets of the Midwestern experience: familiar, quotidian aesthetics and an undeniable sense of desolation. A Michigan arcade appears upon first sniff—metallic top notes of “high score bells and chimes” are tempered by a buttery whiff of patchouli (I mentioned to Kiral that certain ingredients in her work act like MSG does in fast food, inducing saliva and nostalgia: here, patchouli fits this function)—but continuing to observe the scene reveals a potentially more ominous story. Why has the soda spilled across the cedarwood floor gone uncleaned?

Pearfat’s fragrances are set pieces completed by their wearer: to apply Multiball is to become a character occupying its arcade. However, Kiral notes that her perfumes are “not necessarily meant for everyday wear”—as I see it, they’re experiential pieces designed as dioramas one can appreciate either from within or from a safe distance. In the vein of a vanitas painting, a 17th century Dutch tradition of depicting rotting fruit alongside vacant skulls and snuffed out candles, an olfactory tableaux so active in the absence of life is a potent form of memento mori.

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Heyyyy! It’s my birthday next week and I have been delighting in scouring the internet for little treasures that I could potentially ask my loved ones for or gift myself. Below are around 30 of the things I’ve found and either gotten, will probably get at some point, or long for, from books to DIY-able mouthwash decanters to perfumes that smell like Skype and vintage toothbrushes. All but one thing is under $50, because I know how it is going out there right now and I can’t personally afford any more than that when buying gifts! The best possible birthday gift for me, though, is free: you liking, commenting on, and sharing Esque posts. Ok vamos!

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

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Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

My <3 got me this book that I’ve been wanting to read for months—it’s coming out soon in paperback, which is how I’d recommend reading it, as it feels a little silly carrying around a hardback of such a slim tome. However, I couldn’t wait to read it and hardcovers, though I’m not a huge fan, trump ebooks any day. It’s a taut, wry story of relationships and playing roles and the fragmentation that both endeavors entail. I’m halfway through and really liking it so far—a good read if you’re having trouble reading.

When I found out that Mona Awad wrote a sequel to Bunny that’s essentially the same book written in the perspectives of the covenish cult that terrorizes the first book’s protagonist, I knew I had to take a look. I picked it up from my favorite local indie bookstore, also (annoyingly) in hardcover, because it’s on hold for the next three million years at the library. Let me know if you want a more thorough review once I’m done!

This is the first niche scent I ever owned back when the travel size was capped with a roller ball. I’m beyond thrilled that right as I hit pan on my first bottle (10mL lasted me over a year and a half!), I found out that the brand had switched their travel packaging to atomizers. It’s so much easier and more delightful to apply now, but the scent has not changed one bit: comprehensively heady leather is sweetened and made even more seductive with the addition of an anisic twang, as if a drop of Pastis had fallen on a worn leather couch and then baked in the sunlight that filters in through cafe windows. Here’s to another happy few years for me and Nostalgia!

I can’t wait for this to come in the mail because, yes, I got it. I have both fond and dubious memories of my time on Skype (a lot of being 17 and chatting with grown men who loooooved Murakami’s novels), and I’m so ready for a sharp pang of nostalgia when I open the light-up box and hear the Skype ringtone. I’m just as excited for the scent itself, which promises ozone, citrus, and white florals, making me think of my sterile hours of computer time as wafts of jasmine floated through the window, beckoning me to give up the screen and come outside.

My friend kindly sponsored the purchase of this second Unjust perfume (check out the brand’s website for uniquely cheeky and charming aughts/2010s memorabilia like Club Penguin belts and Windows charm bracelets) because we’re both so curious as to what it smells like—I’m prepared for Softsoap, which makes me think of my late grandma’s guest bathroom in my childhood, so I’m hoping to feel connected to her when I smell this. Great prices for both bottles, too.

Another creative and singular scent, Liza Pittard’s Stone reminds me of soil drenched in Fernet out of which springs a miraculously-vibrant mint leaf. It’s fresh, intense, and very forest-witchy.

Speaking of forest witches, I’ve been entranced by the Lemuria catalog since hearing of the brand, and its Circe candle is no exception: the listed notes are

warm oregano bread

kalamata olive oil

crushed seashells

ergot infused kykeon

fermented grape leaves

You could say I’m intrigued, enraptured, even. Other candles in the collection boast notes like bok choy, funnel cake, and camphor. The full-sized candles are steeply-priced, so I’ll probably end up trying minis, though I genuinely CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH buying a candle warmer to help justify investing in candles, as with it they’ll last for months, if not years, as opposed to days or weeks.

Another glorious candle, this one I smelled in a local shop a few days ago and was impressed by its photorealistic basil note. It’s a cute gimmick that the packaging ostensibly grows a basil plant, too. This might be my summer room scent.

I actually saw these in person at that same shop and if I were going to burn candles instead of warming them, these would be the matches I’d want to do it with. The house is bigger than you might think and would make an adorable addition to a table’s centerpiece or on the ledge of a mirrored sconce alongside a small candle.

Another adorable match receptacle! I wonder how heavy it is?

I’m now, thanks to Pinterest, fixated on the idea of a crystal decanter full of mouthwash in my bathroom. I suppose I’d have to thrift a nice little cup to go with it too, right? Something about the unnatural, alienlike colors in the slightly-stuffy glassware really gets me good.

This dusty purple is a truly unique mouthwash shade and I love the extra-pointy cap. I wonder if mouthwash loses its integrity if it’s exposed to too much air?

I am SO IN LOVE with this Etsy full of packs of vintage toothbrushes in patterns ranging from glittery stars to gingham to… pink with pelican stamps? Having these to dole out to guests or grab when you’re on the go instantly makes one 10000x cooler.

These remind me of the aesthetics of one of my long-documented favorite movies, Daisies (1966). They might be my favorites of the bunch—so corny, yet so unfathomably gorgeous of a detail.

A silly sub-$10 thing I often use and could stand to upgrade is the microfiber cloth, rendered by Nerd Wax as almost anything you could possibly think of, from a leatherbound copy of Les Miserables to a concha (THE PASTRY, you perverts). This underwear feels like it would be a disarming thing to whip out at a fancy dinner…

…but this one’s the most hardcore…

…and my only gripe with this one is that it isn’t life-size. I don’t want an obviously fake huge Dorito, give me something that throws any witnesses for a loop!

There are so many coconut masks to be found online for sub-$50, but the peaked chin of this radish really spoke to me.

There is something extremely pleasing about this horse’s rotund belly and the vase neck sticking out of it—this would IMMEDIATELY make any bouquet seem intentional and feel expensive in a compelling way, not a boring way.

I had never thought Perler beads could look sophisticated until I saw this photo—utilizing its chunkiness and honeycomb pattern to mimic the texture of a cross-stitch is the way to make this look better than a child’s mangled craft. They’re surprisingly versatile once you get that aesthetic down…

…and can be used to rim otherwise-boring stuff like light switches and heating fixtures with minimal effort/installation grief.

Perler picture frames are really sick too. Besides the pattern, it’s all about inventive, breathtaking color combinations… consult the GOAT freely.

I think I mentioned nichos in a recent post but if not, they’re shadow boxes of sorts that originated in Latin America and are used for anything from displaying artwork to exalting photos of loved ones who have passed in Dia de Los Muertos ofrendas or altars. They can be used secularly as decorative shelving, too, and this one is especially cool as it’s encrusted in milagros, tiny metal charms that represent prayers, vows, and gratitude. My dream is to create a nicho like this with milagros I collected, each one signifying a specific moment or desire.

I’d actually never seen a metal veil like this on a wine bottle before, but now I’m like, they really should just come like this. Does anyone know how to make this, like, is there a specific way, or should I just try freestyling it with some jump rings, pliers, and a dream?

Delicious!

Beads are an underrated gift—these could be braided into hair, hung on ribbons down the wall, added to a charm necklace, stuck on the stems of flowers, glued to toothpicks as garnishes…

Look at this guy’s pleasant expression and weep with exultation! The neck rolls, the tiny ears, everything about him is designed for my particular delight. This Etsy is a gold mine for cake toppers that will live on long after the crumbs have been digested. I wonder what else could be put in the hole… toothpicks? A flower stem?

I love this slutty little elf backin’ it up onto, ostensibly, your cupcakes, but what is that black thing on its leg? Am I going crazy?

I think ornaments are severely unfairly relegated to Christmastime, when in reality, there is totally reason to ornament one’s life year-round, especially when you can find treasures like this Björnament that are decisively season-agnostic. It looks like the swan is flocked, meaning it’d be fuzzy to the touch, which is a fun detail! I’d hang this on a hook or ribbon on the wall of a white-tiled bathroom.

I love the little details on this all-purpose ornament like the swirls where it attaches to its handle/hanger. The empty eye is a little disturbing and I don’t even want to imagine how it’d look if one tried to fill it with something like a pom-pom or a googly eye.

This is probably made out of burlap-like material harvested from the plastic found in the stomach of dead whales or something evil like that, but it is a BANGER of a fun, dynamic zip-up hoodie (a garment that has eluded me for years and the importance of I continue to be reminded of as my hair grows longer and pulling it through a crew neck while styled becomes more and more of a miserable feat).

I thiiiink this is way overpriced but I just thought this velveteen cami was a super cool and unique going-out top that would work in any season with the right outerwear (or lack of it) and straddles sensibilities from gothic to cyberpunk to retro.

My friend Erin got me a classic vintage giraffe stuffed animal that looks just like the one on this banner, which I think would be a darling addition to party decor or just a perennial fixture in one’s room.

Another festive detail that, when strung high near the ceiling, would bring so much color, dimension, and height to any room it graced.

Finally, I’m cheating and including a few Tulip lampshades that are way over the $50 budget I allocated, mostly just because I wanted to mention the brand’s sweet bloomer-inspired collection replete with ruffles and adorable tucks.

This is probably the one I’d get for my room as I’m loosely inspired by circus theming in my decorative sensibilities thanks to my now over ten-year-old, extremely well-documented on this blog love of the film Santa Sangre.

I can’t tell if these are DIYs or part of an artist collab collection made by Tulip itself, but I think these personalizations actually seem doable, and that’s coming from someone who has literally sewn fabric into their skin before.

Thank you so much for being here. I’m pretty happy right now (still jobless, lol, coincidence?) and I’m so grateful for all the lovely people who buoy me and shower me with love all year long, including you.

<3 ESK

Hi! I’ve been reading SO much lately after a two-year drought. I wanted to share ten of my most recent and beloved reads alongside scents that pair with their very essences, from the hardened viscerality of Mona Awad’s Bunny to the heady toxicity of Lydia Kiesling’s Mobility. Let me know if you like posts like this—I’m always happy to write more about scents and reads, now that I’m out of my dastardly slump!
P.S. Three of the works below are above the paywall, and you should definitely, DEFINITELY check them out even if you’re not a paid sub (and if you want to be, I can make it happen for cheapp or free, just respond to this email!).

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Share

THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:

Darryl is the best book I’ve ever read, I think, and that terrifies me, because where do I go from here? Gifted to me by my most brilliant friends Adrian and Jay, this novel unravels in sharp bursts of chapters, each compulsively easy to read and heart-rendingly written as the titular protagonist wends his way through thoughts and, possibly (or not), revelations. You should go into this book completely blind, so I’ll leave it at that, except to say that fans of Dennis Cooper might love this novel (though the more squeamish among us will be able to read it without the same warnings I’d give for one of Cooper’s works).

Mandy Aftel’s virtuosic EDP “Fig” is characterized by a maturity not present in any other perfume I own, a deep and molten gravity completely subverted by the near-fecal base of hyraceum that creates an olfactory illusion of fig out of the perfume’s true notes of fir, citrus, and jasmine. This cheekiness and self-conscious sensuality, plus the complex femininity depicted by the perfume’s fecundity, feel like a perfect match for Darryl, though he wouldn’t be so sure.

AJ and Jay also recommended Mobility, by local Portland author Lydia Kiesling, and this was a more challenging read for me to get into: drenched in the fetid histories of the oil industry and buoyed by a distinctly unlikable (though even more distinctly relatable) protagonist, Bunny, the novel chronicles the bitterly realistic trajectory of a person devoid of convictions aside from when things directly affect her lifestyle. It has never been clearer that the personal is political than in the story of an “apolitical” girl, then woman, who travels the world with her family as a child before finding meaning in the material comforts afforded to her by working in a field she resolutely refuses to acknowledge the harm done by. Bunny’s unsubtle obsession with grasping onto her youth is a poignant reverberation of her inability to see climate catastrophe for what it is, and Kiesling’s rich, deft writing makes spending time even with such a dud thoroughly enjoyable. I left this book feeling like my every action was being narrated by its author.

Of course, I had to pick a fragrance with an oily, gasoline-like base, and this one is perfect for Mobility with its overwhelming intensity not-at-all covered up with more feminine notes of magnolia blossom and Davana. The bottle’s iridescent glint perfectly mimicks the oil slick on the book’s cover, and the scent’s friendly price point makes it feel like something Bunny might have gotten her hands on and treasured as she moved from Athens to Baku at age 15.

I me Marcus Scott Williams because his book Sparse Black Whimsy was so impressive I knew I needed to know its author, and now with its sequel, I am lucky enough to call him one of my best friends, but that doesn’t change the fact that I think msw is one of the important voices of our generation. His loose, loopy, emphatically and proudly Black prose weaves in and out of poesy, recounting moments spent high under club lighting or listening for the whir of an apartment building’s faulty elevator. msw’s work is precisely what New York is at its best: dreamy but grounded, icy cool but vulnerable, boisterous but lyrical.

The Alloy Studio’s Silver Haze is a sticky scent, full of saffron leather and cheap strawberry undergirded by a wave of good weed, the perfect scent to accompany a quick trip into msw’s New York with a joint behind your ear, someone else’s vape in your hand, and unsoured love in your heart.

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Hello! Thank you for your patience in waiting for a new post—times have been confusing and tough but also very hopeful. Still looking for a job, still open to absolutely any leads you may have. I’m also sick as a dog right now, so I’m a bit nervous about how error-riddled this post will be, especially because it’s on one of my favorite fashion topics of all time: Black menswear movements.

I am not an expert, by any means, on this topic, and this is but a cursory glance at 10+ style subcultures rooted in everything from location to music genre to specific person. I wrote a bit about sapeurs last year and was so enchanted by their style that I knew there must be dozens of movements most of us have missed out on given the fact that last year’s Black Dandy-themed Met Gala was barely a surface-level investigation.

A lot of these movements, especially those that originate in the same countries, fray at the edges and blend together, so if you’d categorize something differently than I did below, you’re probably correct (or we both are!). Each category is more amorphous than befits a listicle-style blog post, but this is basically just me trying to share search keywords and inspiration images that will then lead you on your own explorations.

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

Share

Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

Sapeurs

As I wrote last year, sapeurs are “people who identify with ‘La Sape,’ an abbreviation for ‘Société des Ambianceurs et des Personnes Élégantes’—essentially, an apt appropriation of colonial style into a sick version of Black Dandyism rooted in anti-colonial revolutionary culture.” La Sape originated in the Congo, where its flamboyance and lightheartedness served as a counter to the bleakness that defined periods of Congolese civil war, offering an alternative lifestyle to young men who wanted to reject violence in favor of self-expression. Of course, the fact that sapeur style is so Westernized is contentious, and from some of my reading, it seems that the fixation upon fancy dress has on occasion led to strife in and of itself, but I quite simply love the subversions and extensions of dandyism that sapeurs have concocted:

The layered ties are perhaps the greatest innovation of the sapeurs—like paint swatches juxtaposed against each other, this superfluous layering allows for so much experimental color play in an otherwise-simple outfit.

I feel like cummerbunds have been slowly rolling their way back onto red carpets on the waists of people like Colman Domingo and Jeremy Allen White, but a COLORFUL cummerbund I believe I have yet to see, at least not in a monochrome context. I also love the use of gingham, a rustic-feeling pattern, in an otherwise super city slicker look.

Ties used brilliantly again, this time in skirt form (with matching bowtie, handkerchief, and weed leaf hand warmers????!). There are some women who follow La Sape who call themselves “sapeuses” and have really made me feel the lack of butch dandies in culture these days.

This is the most unique sapeur look I found, with a furry pom-pom vest that looks like a young crow’s moulting, an impressive, shiny cravat, and a bow accessorizing the jacket’s lapel. I think the next frontier for bows, now that the feminine angle has been thoroughly mined and exhausted of semiotic value, is for them to become masculinized, which I am here for. The twisty cane is also so sick.

Swenkas

Kind of like a cousin to the sapeurs, the Swenkas are working-class Zulu men in South Africa who participate in what amount to drag king shows, part fashion display and part choreography. You’ll be delighted to know this is called “swenking” (derived from the English word “swanky”). From what I can see, Swenka style is a bit more restrained and workaday than sapeurs’, but still uses retro silhouettes and flamboyant touches like polka-dot pocket squares to set itself apart from traditionally masculine business wear.

Smarteez

Also South African, Smarteez sport a fascinating twist on what seems like early-2010s hipster garb inflected with both punk and traditional Zulu aesthetics. Think neon skinny jeans plus an Isicholo hat.

This SHOULD have done numbers on Tumblr, with its Sherlockian preppiness undone by hints of bright color.

I’m obsessed with these spiky pins and I still think that clusters of buttons are going to come into vogue soon.

Reggae

Originating in Jamaica, this Afro-Caribbean style is obviously deeply attached to Reggae music and its most famous figures. Though deeply tied to Rastafari culture and its favored red-green-yellow color palette, some of my favorite looks I spotted on reggae stars like Gregory Isaacs were extremely restrained in color palette, instead focusing on subtle textural and pattern contrasts. Corduroy is such an underused fabric and typically relegated to fall and winter, which obviously shouldn’t be the case, as demonstrated above. Layering a louder pattern under a faded button-up is also genius.

I’ve shared this image before, but I simply think it’s a masterclass: chocolate with cerulean, a neck bandana and ball cap both askew: it’s an easy outfit recipe. N.B. Beth Lesser took a ton of photos in 80s Jamaica—almost all of my favorite fit pics are hers.

1978’s Rockers, a film about “making it in the Jamaican music industry,” delivers some of the coolest fits I’ve ever seen—it was originally intended to be a documentary, then blossomed into a feature film, and I can’t find any costume credits, so I’m thinking the film’s real-life reggae star cast wore their own, fly-ass clothing to set? I bow down before the color stories, the collars, the chapeaux.

The different types of patchwork in the middle outfit above punctuated by a worn-in weed motif belt has me absolutely enthralled, as does the re-masculinization of the color pink.

These guys both look amazing, but I would literally wear the entire outfit on the right bar for bar: mesh shirt over a white tank, textured jeans, chukkas and a knife sheath? Exaaaaactly.

Another outfit I would wear exactly as-is. The subtle tension created with clashing shades of light brown encapsulates insouciance. Reggae style also makes a newfound, passionate case for the resurgence of berets (especially paired with sunglasses), fuck Godard!

I have literally never seen a shirt like the pink one on the left—what is that neckline called? Paired with red pants is exactly correct. The other two outfits are perfect too, I have a feeling we’ll see some deep Vs on men’s runways sooner than later.

Roots Reggae

Roots Reggae is a subcategory of Reggae that focuses more on its Rastafarian roots and political themes, including a lot of African repatriation sentiment. The style ranges from Afro-futuristic, as seen on the band Steel Pulse above, to more casual, similar to the reggae stylings preceding.

The hat game here goes insanely strong. I’m reconsidering pageboy caps for the 37th time.

Dancehall

Dancehall is considered an offspring of Reggae, and its style seems defined by more subdued palettes, athletic silhouettes, and sexy, dance-able cuts—sleeker, more urban, and nightclub-ready.

Claude Massop was a gang leader, in this photo seen ratifying a “political truce” with another member of the mob. Massop’s gorgeous ‘70s athletic striped polo is rivaled only by the septum ring-like necklace subtly peeking out from the other man’s collar.

Another example of mesh shirt over white tank, this one paired with a perfect beret-glasses-scarf combo.

Izikhothane

Emerging in the mid-2000s, Izikhothane is a fashion and performance-based subculture in Gauteng province, South Africa. A singular person in this subculture is called a “Skhothane,” and their style is defined by urbanity and bling, kind of a rap dandy concept.

It’s a completely genderless style and, like Smarteez, recalls early 2010s hipsterism blended with a less-nerdy streetwear sensibility.

MaRock

MaRock has existed since the 80s in Botswana, where an appreciation of heavy metal music and style blends with cowboy, biker, and even pirate (!!!!) aesthetics. Props are a big part of the MaRock style—apparently, “one notable fan is known as the “tea guy,” and attaches a tea set to his belt, including a teacup, plate, and spoon.” I love the industrial chains draped around necks above. It’s theatrical but demonstratively masculine, a sweet spot for inspiring me.

Pirate yaoi………? Plus the best studded leather jacket I’ve ever seen and some Tripp NYC-ass pants, which make me want to go crawling back to that brand with my tail between my legs.

Kwaito

Another South African subculture grounded in a music genre of the same name, Kwaito came forward in the post-apartheid 90s and is defined by local township pride, featuring bucket hats, converse, baggy pants, and other American-influenced styles as its uniform.

The sub-sub culture of queer Kwaito musicians, led by figures such as Mx Blouse, continues to push the aesthetic forward in a direction that prioritizes gender fluidity.

Miles Davis is his own category

I don’t even know what I can say about him. The knit cap. The medallion-baring deep V. The perfect blue-hued shade of pink. In his time everywhere from NYC to Santa Monica, CA, Davis flawlessly synthesized reggae chill with prep picked up from Juilliard and essentially defined Jazz style with his masterful pattern mixing and careful silhouette choices.

One false move and this look could have been a diabolically grandfatherly mess, but somehow, the checks and polka-dots act as checks and balances for each other while the blue keeps things a little perverse and injects a little bohemian into the otherwise preppy patterned look. Wraparound shades not optional.

This belt brought me to my knees, especially paired with a neckerchief and more wraparound shades.

The only time a lettuce hem has EVER looked good, truly. It has to be used in a more masc context as opposed to on a babydoll tee, or else it just looks like toddler gear. These bell sleeves, however, look nothing but—and you know I hate this word—chic.

+ beyond!

Duro Olowu is a Nigerian-British designer whose high-fashion togs are often rendered in prints that recall traditional Nigerian fabrics like Adire (indigo tie-dye), Aso-oke (hand-loomed silk/cotton), and Akwete (hand woven textile). Can you tell the above photo was shot by Juergen Teller?

I’d like to think that Funkadelic, pioneers of 70s funk, helped inspire the above MaRock style. Lots of cowboy references: fringe, flares, huge belt buckles, plus more traditional rocker garb like moto jackets. This is my favorite Funkadelic song, if you even care (it sounds so shockingly ahead of its time, IMO).

Obviously, I didn’t touch upon rap style in this post, as it’s less subculture and more driving force behind every aspect of culture nowadays, but I had to include this A$AP Nast fit with the most unique leather jacket I’ve ever seen, paired with a button-up and tie (I think the leather jacket + dress shirt combo should make more appearances in our daily lives). This look even somehow makes what seem to be Mickey Mouse ears on a beanie look cool as hell.

And finally, the menswear GOAT, André 3k. You can see influences ranging from dandyism to reggae to Smarteez-esque hipsterism, all perfectly coalescing into one transcendent form.

Every time we try to bring bloomers back, they’re the sexy, feminine, boudoir type—I think André makes a case here that we should be Little Lord Fauntleroy-ing our way around town in longer breeches that punctuate matching vest and sock combos.

I would LOVE to hear about any other Black menswear subcultures that inspire you in the comments or via DM! Thanks for being here today.

<3 ESK

Up front, you already know this if you know Iiterally anything about me, but fuck ICE forever, abolish all police and prisons (yes, even for violent offenders, read Until We Reckon for a much more eloquent and brilliant argument than I could ever present here), and rest in both peace and power to the martyrs leagues braver than myself whose names will go down in history as the best of us but shouldn’t have had to go down at all. Fashion and beauty writers who have been silent for the past six years (and yes, I do actually think that posting shit on Instagram stories is helpful in that if following taste-makers and peer pressure is what it takes for people to develop a conscience and class consciousness, so be it) are so deeply embarrassing, pathetic, and disgusting, and it grieves me that with my minimal power, influence, and resources I can’t be more loud and specific about who deserves our ire. If you’re reading this and you do have that ability—please do it. Unfortunately, shame is a necessary tactic in this industry so plagued by image and frivolity, and again, if anti-fascism and abolitionism will be bolstered by becoming fashionable (or the adverse becoming unfashionable), I can’t see why it shouldn’t. It’s such a deeply beautiful and powerful and humane constellation of ideologies that even if someone is introduced to them through shallow or aestheticized means, it’s likely to take root in their heart in a genuine, constructive way. I’ve seen it happen many a time, and those people are just as valuable to the resistance as people who were reading Emma Goldman in 10th grade (kudos to my high school boyfriend for lending me my first radical readings). Anyway, here’s blog!

Hallou! Ok, mourning period for getting suplexed by the Universe is over, now interior decorating is my new best friend.

N.B. If you have ANY ideas whatsoever for a full or part-time job I could do, please respond to this email with leads—I am really, truly ready to use my writing and editing to make myself a decent living, whether that be through glorious editorial position, a hack role at a tech startup, or writing emails as the office manager of a sketchy nonprofit (again). I am trying to steer clear of the service industry unless I am working for a boss who isn’t clinically evil and has chosen me as their punching bag. That is to say, I’ll do anything, but if it’s not writing or editing, I really want to be doing it with decent people. I know that’s a huge ask in today’s economy, but what can I say, I dare to dream. Anyone who helps me find a job gets free lifetime Esque and a brilliant care package.

Anyway, back to interior decorating—man, this shit is hard. I haven’t had a room that has felt lovely to me since the beginning of Covid, and since then I’ve moved so many times I haven’t been able to build up the requisite stock of furniture, tchotchkes, and curiosities that make a room a palace. Also, I’m currently living in a glorified walk-in closet—no, seriously, I recently had to hang a curtain to hide the open-faced storage area that takes up an entire wall of my room, the wall my bed faces, so the one I’m staring at the entire time I occupy it. No matter how organized I keep it (which, usually, is not very), having to witness every single one of my possessions at all times got really claustrophobic-feeling and grating, but the Ikea curtains I chose (the only ones compatible with the railing installed by our building manager), though they match my desired color scheme. are wrinkly plastic and almost as depressing as the mess they hide.

The other huge problem with my room is that it gets next to no direct sunlight. I’m talking I get a square foot for half an hour a day, and that’s only when the weather is unseasonably kind as it has been this past week in PDX but I suspect it will not be going forward. My single “window” is a sliding door that opens up to a tiny corridor between houses and gets so little sun that during the summer I dragged some cracked old mirrors I found on the street to try reflecting some rays into my abode. In the winter, the sun is too low for even that pathetic plan. I have realized through this how essential two things are for a room: hidden storage space and LIGHT (I’ve always been a sun-hound—I suffer every winter, but even getting light filtered through a cloudy sieve is better than being trapped in a hidey-hole). I just saw Sinners for the first time and literally the only facet of vampirism I’d take issue with is not being able to bask in the sun. Other than that, I’d let the whole cast bite me at once, why the hell not.

I am trying my best to make do with what I have now room-wise, as dreaming of a better living space hurts almost as much as dreaming of a decent job and a country that doesn’t flagrantly murder people in the streets. Below are some inspiration photos I’ve collected on a Pinterest board (linked under the fold), why each speaks to me, and how I’m attempting to apply their merits to my non-ideal habitation. Tips, visions, and feng shui advice much appreciated in the comments or in my DMs. May the Universe bless you all and may you latch on to something less damningly expensive than interior decorating as your coping hobby.

Don’t forget that every single paid article has some morsels above the paywall, so scroll down! Also, as I say below, if literally anyone wants a free yearlong subscription to Esque I will give it to them and have given out dozens in the past year—just respond to this email and let me know you need one. I have almost nothing to offer in the way of solidarity and mutual aid, and I know this blog isn’t really doing much in the way of “aid,” but I am more than happy to provide a few minutes of free entertainment for anyone who wants it.

This is an excellent time to subscribe to the paid tier of this blog for as little as $1.50/month or $15/year, and/or Venmo any amount to username em-sk with your preferred email as the note and I’ll set you up with a yearlong paid subscription. I am so, so indebted to all the friends and folks who have surrounded me with love and physical, emotional, and financial support this week and I promise with all my heart that one day, I WILL succeed enough to pay it back/forward.

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

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THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:

Sellout Segment

Before we begin the main event, I have decided that I’m going to try and include a few items every week that I either genuinely want or recently purchased with my own $$ in an effort to be more consistent with my affiliate links without being a total monster and compromising the quality of my blog, most of which is, as you know, centered around more abstract content and secondhand or DIY buys. I will always provide rationale for my recs and they will never be behind a paywall—even just clicking them helps me in my efforts to start getting free stuff from companies I’ve been giving free PR to for going on 5 years now, so your attention is much appreciated (and the stuff I’m including is actually cool and/or useful—no $890 fuckass jelly flats here, thanks)!

Out of every single product I’ve ever recommended on this blog, I cannot emphasize enough that a candle warmer is the best. After an errant wick blasted my white wall (and a card my dead grandma once sent me) with black smoke that won’t come out no matter how hard I scrub, I realized I couldn’t fuck with burning candles in my room anymore. Now, each candle I own (even the nearly-spent stubs) will last for, I estimate conservatively, a year or more, making them feel less like disposable junk and more like investments in hours upon hours of beautiful room-dwelling. A candle warmer is the only way in hell I’d ever (when I’m not, uh, unemployed lol) buy one of those insanely expensive candles from Diptyque or whatever. Honestly, it feels like the scent projection is even stronger with the warmer than while burning. I use mine every single moment I’m home and feel an almost religious need to proselytize their use to you all.

Now that I’m a Snif “Ambassador” (lol) (here’s a link if you want to join, it’s fun and I racked up a ton of points really quickly), I have earned a gluten of free stuff, most excitingly this Mornings at Levain candle that, thanks to my candle warmer, I plan on using to make my room smell like a bakery for decades to come.

Unfortunately, the teeny tiny Freck brand pen is the best in the game (that I’ve tried). I don’t feel embarrassed to wear them in public, and their staying power is shockingly impressive (just don’t sob for 30 min and expect them to stay in place and don’t ask me how I know that. Though, even when they are partially sobbed off, they’re natural looking enough that it doesn’t look awful, so I guess it’s ultimately a plus). Make sure to do the tap tap tap once you’ve applied them, and try pressing down on the brush from various angles to vary the shape of each dot a bit.

Ugh. I got totally seduced by the brand Half Magic while I was last at Ulta for a Snif Ambassador thing (lol), and this Blushing Lizard eyeshadow really is who she thinks she is. The ambiguous color, rich sheen, and creamy, finger-friendly application were all that was needed to sell me. I wore it on NYE which is why I have no pictures to show for it because they’re all with the person who dumped me at the stroke of midnight :-) and for a tad of gossip, know that I’d tried to dump him a month earlier and he convinced me not to :-) he wanted to feel “agency,” bless his heart :-) Anyway good eyeshadow!

I tried this on my hand (see below), and it glided on like a dream (I wish it were “glid”)—this will be my next purchase from HM.

This is also on my hand below, but it’s harder to see—I’ve been searching for a lip liner that doesn’t make me look like I’m cosplaying Shane Dawson circa 2008 (if you know… I’m sorry), and this might be the one. I LOVE double-duty products. I just got spooked because I obviously couldn’t try it in-store. Will report back when I inevitably try it.

Apparently this is Halsey’s brand? Lol, well, she snapped! the two bigger smudges on my hand below are this eye paint, and let me tell you, it was like painting with acrylics. The most highly pigmented makeup I’ve ever seen. I love the Violet Beauregarde blues and Shrek green.

Okay, okay, on with the show! Things I like in rooms:

Wall stuff that isn’t flat (eg. pennants, match holders, sconces)

This room has three of my favorite things: non-white walls (though this shit-wipe brown is not exactly what my first choice would be), a little mirrored wooden sconce, and pennants. This picture reminded me that even if they’re a bit wrinkled or faded, pennants (IMPORTANTLY ones from places you’ve actually been/are important to you, though I do not begrudge anyone ordering them off eBay after the fact [I did]) are a freshening element to wall decor that’s so often flat and square or oval-shaped. The link below is an Etsy one, but the real deals are to be found, as I mentioned, on eBay, where I snagged nearly the exact OMSI one as below for less than half the price. A link below the fold reveals my source >:) I also went for a vintage Argentina pennant to honor my two years down undah plus a Rose Parade pennant for all the New Years Days spent with my dearly departed grandma watching it on TV.

This specific sconce gives me a sconer, and I’ll leave you to ponder what in the world I could mean by that. The large mirror taking up almost the entire wooden backing, the sizable shelf fitting multiple items, the dark, ruddy wood—it’s perfect. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find an exact dupe, but I’d actually suggest checking Etsy for the best deals on these. I like the ones that are just candle holders too, but the utility of a shelf (or even a box!) is much more alluring to me.

Matchstick holders serve a similar purpose in that they can house small items—keys, perhaps, or dried flowers, or the last pennies you’ll ever own, or heck, even matches, in an elegant and unexpected way that clutters up your wall with intention and a modicum of utility. They can be tin and printed with florals, or plain, dark wood, or painted wood…

If these are gone by the time you see them, I probably bought the,

Read more

Hellooooo. Today I have quite a few things to show you that have been making my life better in the weeks since my emotional Ground Zero, from smells to stick-on nails, but the reason for this free bonus post is because I want to resurrect a few of the ancient (read: 4+ years old) texts from when this blog was named Human Repeller and was hosted on Wordpress. You can’t find most of them online anymore, and I honestly think some of my most creative work was done before Substack and Shopmy and debt turned my heart into a withered little raisin, so today’s new-old post is one from August 2022 on inventive ways to wear stupid, gross old T-shirts. Enjoy the pre-timeskip content, but please pretend you love me and my writing even more now xoxox

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

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Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

A whole lotta Snif

As you know, I have loved the original Crumb Couture in both EDT and candle form for months, so I was delighted to discover that CC Almond keeps its predecessor’s creamy toastiness while replacing the jammy swirl with a hit of marzipan that quickly fades into a surprisingly long-lasting (for an EDT) crispy, crunchy musk.

My newest Snif acquisitions are this pear of EDTs in collaboration with fragrance influencer “Professor Perfume,” Honey Suite and Vow Factor. Both are better than I honestly expected—Vow Factor I appreciate for letting its forward fig note stay green instead of forcing it into a creamy composition of coconut, which many fig fragrances are wont to do. Instead, it stays delicate and fresh with prominent splashes of Rose and neroli, finished off with a light muskiness from ambrette seeds. It doesn’t project almost at all, but it stays close to the skin for hours on end (and for $25, chucking the travel size in your bag isn’t much of a big deal). My favorite, however, is Honey Suite, which reminds me of an Amphora Parfum composition in its unabashed, sensual treacliness, though its lower concentration means that it never feels overwhelmingly sugary. A hint of booziness (you REALLY want to let this one dry down for a full minute before judging it) recalls my beloved Spiritcask as well. for anyone looking for a surprisingly sophisticated but SWEET SWEET scent on a budget, Honey Suite is the Snif for you IMO.

My surprise favorite of the holiday candle scents (not counting my obsession with Pumpkin Smash) is Lost Claus, of which I sadly only snagged a single votive in a holiday set. I have never seen vetiver used in such a decidedly non-summery, non-green fashion, instead harnessing its spicy side along with more traditional wintry garnishes like cinnamon and nutmeg to create an almost church-y, sacred holiday scent. Like, this smells as if it could have been burning in the manger where baby J was born (and that’s coming from a Jew who knows nothing of the occasion). A shot of toasty marshmallow keeps the whole thing from getting too harsh on the nose, and I am so glad I chose to use a candle warmer instead of burning this votive so its mellow-but-invigorating scent will, with luck, last me ‘till spring.

Olive and June press-on nails

The reason for any typos you see in this post is certainly these Olive and June press-ons, which I have not figured out how to perform tasks such as typing in quite yet.

I hate painting my stubby, kid-like nails, so being able to choose a color the brand offers in polish form but worn as an elegant, utterly unattainable (for me) almond shape, was catnip to my depressed self longing for an attainable change. Social Studies is the perfect faded T-shirt navy—it’s darker and bluer than the above photo IRL:

Catching the rare PDX sun in my much-adored Vada Siren sunglasses.

The application was easy enough for a clumsy dummy like myself to do in dim lighting (use LESS GLUE than you think you need, because if it gets on the front of the nail, it ain’t coming off) and they include like 3x as many nails as are shown in the front of the packaging, with sizes that accommodated everything from my thick-ass thumb to my barely-there pinky.

I really love the almond shape and think I’d stick with it in the future (the coffins are cool but intimidating), and I would like more iterations on a textured French Manicure like the one above. I’d definitely wear a cheetah French if it were done in shades of brown.

Speaking of brown, people with darker-hued skin especially would look SOOOOO good with these subtle aura nails—I hope they do more colors of this design. I’d love a subtle aura to match every skin tone, and then one in blue or purple.

Typing in these is MISERABLE, I have to say. I haven’t had many other problems, though!

Iota + Táche Pistachio Milk Latte lip treatment

The magnanimous and brilliant (read their book The House of Beauty!) sent me a care package when they learned of my past few weeks of foul fate, and my favorite thing in it was this lip treatment, which is genuinely the only thing I’ve ever put on my lips that has made me put down the Aquaphor for once. It’s rich and sumptuous without getting gloopy or tacky—it’s actually kind of grainy with, I assume, pistachio fibers or something? when you first apply it but it quickly smooths into a compulsively wearable treat that fully feels, smells, and “tastes” (from the little I’ve ingested, I’m not guzzling it) like straight-up pistachio butter. I told Arabelle it makes me feel like Peanut Butter Baby to apply this, in a good way (if you don’t understand that reference, you are too young to be reading this blog).

Nodpod weighted sleep mask

As I reported the other week, got me into the Nodpod game, and now that I’ve slept with it for a week plus, I can tell you that it’s legit—the eyeball weight is a much safer (I assume, especially now that I have claws) alternative to my autistic (I think that’s what it’s from?) tendency to press on my eyes with fists as I fall asleep, and the temperatures on both warmer and cooler side are fantastic to switch between as I regulate myself before dropping off. No smell of plastic from the beads inside—no smell at all, in fact. I love it.

Dieux Instant Angel moisturizer

Finally, this moisturizer—I won’t say you have to drop everything to go buy it. The thick Vanicream in the tub with the pump will get the job done, and nothing has blessed my skin like Flower Balm. However, I will say that I woke up on Jan 1 after being broken up with at midnight, hungover, dried out, and swollen from sobbing, and looked like a normal person after applying this moisturizer, so that’s something. I put it on bare skin, then prescription tret, then Vanicream or Flower Balm to seal the deal.

Ok, now, the vintage Esque née Human Repeller!

Note: I’m sure 90% of the below links don’t work and 90% of the clothing items below are either floating around Buenos Aires or were lost to my ex’s family’s storage unit. Sad, but they live on through this post :-)

How to Wear the “Unwearable” T-Shirts Rotting in Your Closet

Originally posted August 4, 2022

I am a T-Shirt fiend. I am compelled at bands’ merch tables, vintage stores, manga shops, beachside souvenir shacks–it’s a problem, especially because the typical basic or merch-y tee seemingly has NO styling potential. If you Google “how to wear a graphic tee” you will be barraged with articles suggesting you “pair it with pants” or, if they’re mavericks, a “fun skirt.”

Here are a few styling ideas that address common issues with these kinds of shirts: stained, not exciting enough, bad logo emblazoned on the chest, etc.

Your Bane, a Stain

I got this shirt for free from a yard “sale.” I am a card-carrying Schoolhouse Rock proponent with an Interplanet Janet tattoo, and this cost zero dollars, so its acquisition was a no-brainer. It fits great and is in perfect quality… except for what I hope and pray is a bleach stain on the collar. Of course I washed it before wearing, and the stain isn’t the end of the world, but I don’t love its placement or color.

A great way to deal with stains is just patch over ’em, but if a patch isn’t available or would look weird in the spot the stain is in, or if you just want to give the T more dimensionality and movement, tie a scarf or bandana into a bow or knot and pin it so it covers the mark. I like the way this bandana frames my shoulder and creates a gesture over my armpit. The fit is a little elementary school, but I’m pretty sure any outfit centered around Schoolhouse Rock would feel a little regressive. I kept it fun with my new favorite striped jeans I copped on sale and tabi sneakers in a chilled-out color (you know how I feel about “kidcore” (IF YOU SUB TO MY PATREON, THAT IS…) and I didn’t want to veer too hard in that direction.

This technique could actually come across as really elegant if you used a flowy scarf or a silky bow on a classier tee or blouse, and it would look just as interesting and hide a stain just as well on the chest, hemline, wherever.

It’s Just Too Big

I got my favorite Jujutsu Kaisen (the animanga that anyone who knows me IRL knows comprises 78% of my personality) tee on Mercari and didn’t realize the extent of the size discrepancy.

Instead of cropping a too-large tee, especially one with a sick graphic that it would be tragic to mess with (though my internet friend Bailey and I decided it’s actually legal and correct and not unhinged to get T-shirts tailored if need be), try wearing it either with a skirt that ruffles out just a few inches below the hemline (I tried to get this skirt even shorter, but was rolling up a maxi skirt and it started looking ridiculous so I stopped where I stopped) or a midi/maxi skirt like this Sunnei number. Either way, try to emphasize the boxy, billowy silhouette as opposed to fighting it with skinny pants or tighter shorts. You’re tryna get Roblox body here. Well, I am, at least. The short version works well with calf-length boots to further accentuate the clunkiness of the fit, while the longer version is more streamlined and pairs better with slingbacks like these. Cap referencing a different anime required, just to keep the other weebs guessing.

Emblazoned With Logo of Ex’s Venture

Turned inside-out in the above pic for his sake (he’s a nice dude and his venture is cool, he was just 33 and “not ready to consider his future” which, fair, but not for me), this shirt has a nice color and construction, with a high collar and thick material, but I didn’t loooove repping the venture. Maybe you have a few tees like this too, like, uh, a Warren 2020 shirt or something?

Anyway, my solution was to bunch up the tee in random ways that created lumps and bumps and a hemline I enjoyed, while hiding the logo, and pin it with big safety pins I got from the 99c store. Very Foo and Foo but cost me 99c instead of *redacted amount* (the guy I “dated” [we were very NOT official] gave me the shirt for free after i begged and whined for months and we “broke up” 3 days later, so the shirt was free). This is my favorite way to freak a tee. Worn with the same jeans (I’m very attached already) and now sold-out Nodress shoesies.

Structural Snore

I like this tee’s graphic, but its shape is very boring: no structural integrity, fabric not thick, collar not robust, a little too long. So, inspired by Phlemuns‘ classic tee (below), I cut a high arc into the back of the shirt, starting an inch or so away from the seams on each side (It would look weird if you started right at the seams, we’re going for a proper “U” shape, not a shallow parabola).

I was very rough and sloppy with this and it turned out pretty good. If you made a stencil and chalked out the arc, it would probably turn out amazing. You can make the arc as high or low as you want it and it’d look cool (as long as, as stated above, it’s a true “U” shape! If this doesn’t make sense, DM me on Instagram and I’ll explain). You can wear it just like this (looks especially good with cup marks ;)) or tie it in front with a ribbon, bandana, or piece of cloth (more on that below). Shorts are these, shoes are these, I think you can tell I kind of stopped thinking about the fits at this point and was mostly thinking about how to freak the tees. Oh well, use your imagination (or sub to the HR Patreon for more real, hard, life changing fits)!

This would also look sick cut in the front to show some underchest if you’re into that!

Simply Unwearable

I went into the 99c store by my apartment “inebriated” one day and in a great mood. I left with $20 worth of random crap I couldn’t really wear because I am autistic and the fabric felt like it was woven with fiberglass, that’s how uncomfortable it was. Ah well! Heinous/uncomfortable/offensive/too small shirts are ripe for the scavenging. My favorite way to do this is to cut them into strips and use to tie other, BETTER shirts (as in the previous section) either at the hemline or around the shoulder, demonstrated below with a bandana. You can also tie these strips into bows and use them for stain coverage as I suggested in the first section.

Perfect Pit Stains

I stole this shirt from my sister (who will only know this if she reads my blog, great litmus test, right) and it’s the perfect size, material, and cut for a white tee but has noticeable pit stains (from both my sister and I, I will not let her go down without going down alongside her. This remedy needs some workshopping, but I think I’m on to something: create a mini-shirt by cropping a 99c store tee way too short (like, over your nipples if you can) and pinning it in an interesting way (like in the center of the chest, as below) or letting it hang over the undertee.

Does Not Spark Joy

I love the show, of course, but this shirt was just not doing it for me! I sliced it open like a frog in a 9th grade bio lab, realized too late it looked cool with just the collar attached, took a fake photo to show how it WOULD have looked cool, then pinned it down the center with the trusty ol’ 99c store safeties. This would look cool and give you more coverage with a BUNCH of pins down the front, equally cool with just one at the collar or right in the middle.

Lol, hope you enjoyed that unseasonable trip down memory lane.

<3 ESK

Hello! This is a VULNERABLE one (as if the past few posts haven’t been, lol). I heard we’re casting our eyes back ten years, so below are 16 looks/outfit components that I have recently felt inspired to revive, from chokers (NONE of that plastic lace business, thankyouverymuch) to platforms to handfuls of scrambled eggs (IYKYK, if you don’t, well, scroll!). Ten years ago, I finished my first freshman year (at Barnard College) and transferred to my second freshman year (at Pratt Institute), leaving behind a promising (lol I was gonna fail remedial Chem) career in neuroscience for an idiotic degree in sculpture. My only regret from that era was actually enrolling in college—living in NYC, dressing as I did, smoking countless substances—all that made me who I am today. Wait, should I regret it?

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

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Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

1. Bratty novelty T-shirt

   Long before “brat,” there was “me being a brat.” Whether the (typically chopped-up) tee read “Instant Asshole… just add alcohol” or “ssHHHH! I’m hiding from the Voices!”, you could count on me to pair it with anything from an Audrey Horne-esque midi pleated plaid skirt to straight-up underwear, which I favored for my copious selfie-taking. I miss thinking that wearing a souvenir shirt meant for a father was the funniest thing I could do.

   

   

   

2. Choker or neck scarf

   I never got caught up in the lacy plastic choker trend, just didn’t like the look of it and still don’t, but I can get behind a velveteen or chunky silver-and-stone choker paired with a low, sweeping neckline, a pert vintage collar, or a bodysuit. To similar effect, 2016 me rarely went out without tying anything from a silk scarf to a gas station handkerchief haphazardly around their neck, taking care that the knot was, importantly, not too loose nor too tight. Today, I’d actually leave even more room between neck and knot and use a much smaller scarf or bandana in service of less floppiness and a more casual look.

   

   

   

   

   

   

3. Beret

   Another recurring prop in underwear photos but just as often used in a kind of post-twee, New Wave-inspired modish fashion that I occasionally adopted when I was trying to look more “put together.” If my hear goes shorter again, the berets are coming out full force, as I believe they look best with locks jaw length or above.

   

   

4. Hunting cap

   This all started because I wanted my 2016 Halloween costume to be “slutty Holden Caulfield”—of course I did. What ended up happening instead, infamously, I’ll recount at the end of this post, but I did end up wearing the hunting cap as a more interesting alternative to beanies and a less flyaway-prone alternative to baseball caps.

   N.B. I am aware that this might not be THEE hunting cap Holden wore in the book, but it’s the one I found for cheap at a thrift store, so there.

   

   

5. Dangly earrings (not always on ears)

   I’m not sure my lobes will let me go back to the olden days when popping in a pair of rusty, thrifted janglies didn’t make for instant agony, but I could definitely pick some up to thread through the top button on a button-up blouse as a little bolo-ish accoutrement as below. If anyone has a lead on dangly earrings that don’t feel like medieval torture devices, please let me in on it. N.B. oh how I miss the days before some asshole informed me that smoking hookah was like inhaling 17 cigarettes in quick succession. Halcyon days.

   

   

6. Sport Ropes necklace

   These extremely dumb Sport Ropes “titanium-infused” necklaces only cost like $13 and purport to balance your baseball chakras or some such mumbo-jumbo. Luckily, they look cool as hell in my opinion—it’s rare that a piece of jewelry feels completely casual and sporty—and I think they’d be awesome as a signature piece for everyday hair. Ostentatious armpit hair recommended but not required.

   

7. Cutesy white top

   I think that some day soon, I’ll enjoy an innocent apple with nothing packed firmly inside of it while sitting on a rooftop I’m definitely allowed to be on, all while wearing a flitty, flirty little white top. Perhaps it will be eyeleted and ruffled, perhaps bloomy and peasant-style, perhaps have random adjustable, overall-style straps and chunky embroidery (these all pair perfectly with midi-length, paper bag-waist, crispy crunchy culottes). All I know for sure is that apple was definitely eaten and served no other purpose than to be digested.

   

   

   

8. Platforms

   Another thing from 2016 I would love to bring back into my personal rotation but am genuinely terrified of after the past ten years’ brutality on my body, especially my lower half, are platforms—we (my college buds and I) used to call the below my “ten-shot boots” because wearing them was the equivalent of taking ten shots in terms of how they affected my mobility, but also my confidence. I was fucking unstoppable in these thrifted, fur-lined monstrosities, and I would do anything to get to wear them for one more unhinged night. They looked especially good with sporty togs like tucked-in track pants, IMO.

   

   

9. Monochrome fits

   A favorite look that incorporated the ten-shot boots was to pair them with white overalls and a white top (or nothing underneath save for pasties over my already-saggy tits—some things never change). I also found a pair of red cargo pants with a built-in belt on the side of the road and frequently coupled them with fire-engine hued Basquiat tees, cutoff tanks, and, of course, my beloved red beret. I am thoughtfully leaving out the glamour shots I took in all red gripping my well-loved copy of The Communist Manifesto because nobody needs to see that.

   

   

   

10. Painted-on clothes

    Ok, I only ever really managed to paint on one clothing item, the jeans below, which I adorned with a deconstruction of the arm logo (also as seen on MY arm in the below photo) from my to-this-day favorite film, Santa Sangre. Hey, this was before I got on ADHD meds and I couldn’t commit to a project to save my life. I’d like to pick up where I left off (lol, as if even my medicated brain could manage that). Someone who COULD is the very-cool Ca8ty whom I recently spotted on the streets of PDX in a hand-painted and -embroidered outfit I am still thinking about weeks later. Check her out for endless inspiration!

    

11. Theatrical makeup

    From Thanksgiving Day with a bunch of randoms to a house party I was only nominally invited to by a guy who barely liked me, every occasion was one for makeup that borrowed from horror films, films like Daisies, or just my worst nightmares. Whether my eyes were thickly lined or I boasted a faux Glasglow smile, I would almost NEVER show up to the function looking “pretty,” and I love my 18-year-old self for that. I still sometimes embody this spirit, but I need more film inspiration for overpowering makeup looks I can inflict upon the cowards of Portland (if you’re not a coward, you’re safe, no big deal!). Give me recs, please!

    

    

12. Barely a shirt

    I so regret selling my sliced-and-diced D.A.R.E. tee years and years ago—I think this coming summer, I will recommit to my 2016 agenda of taking “clothing” as loosely as possible and dressing in a perma-state of half-undress.

    

13. Fur-lined hooded parka (bonus: over underwear)

    Okay, I’ve already brought half of this back with a J.Crew parka I scored for $32 from my evil ex job (apparently it’s $130 resale now, muahahaha), but I need to get better about wearing completely weather-inappropriate shit underneath, like, say, a sports bra. Oh, on my evil New Year’s Eve, I did wear it over a bathing suit, so I guess that’s points for me! I also had my hair in space buns, a 2016 classic that I am still negotiating the line for so I don’t accidentally appropriate Bantu knots a la Bjork. I think as long as I keep it to four buns (a la the Salvation Mountain photo far above), one on each quadrant of skull, it works, but if you have a strong opinion, please share!

    

14. Sharp collar

    I miss wearing stinky, scratchy polyester 70s shirts printed with dreamy watercolor scenes and capped off with a devastatingly sharp collar! I think I’ve avoided them in the past few years because they feel so feminine in a twee way, but looking at this pic, I think with a binder and the right makeup they could look super androgynous-fly. Pic is me at the Frick thinking about how if I were Alexander Berkman and had a point-blank shot into Henry Clay’s skull, no WAY he would’ve lived!!!

    

15. High neck

    Another style I’ve abandoned over the years for feeling a bit too feminine, but I can’t help it: as per the chokers and scarves section above, I adore having my neck covered (science side of Substack, please explain), and I can’t say I don’t have my eyes open for a new cotton, high-necked, Victorian-style blouse to pair with jeans and my leather jacket come springy weather.

    

    

16. Dress + sneaks

    Finally, yet another 2016 standby I have since avoided for nonbinary reasons but I can’t deny was cool (prariecore definitely had me in its grasp from about 2014-2016). I have a sickening feeling that Air Force Ones will come back in full swing within the next five years—invest in your pair now before it’s too late and StockX is making you Klarna your first born child for one.

Oh, actually-finally, it is the ten-year anniversary of my Halloween costume going viral and getting me a bajillion followers overnight whom I then foisted awful, pseudo-intellectual memes upon before idiotically deleting my account on an idealistic whim. If you’ve been here with me since the Killer from a Film days…. all I can say is you terrify me and it’s an honor to be witnessed by you. I hope I have added something positive to your past decade as you have to mine.

Note the handful of scrambled eggs, pragmatically encased in an off-brand Tupperware. I promise you I clutched them for 99% of the night (when I wasn’t clutching my umpteenth American Spirit Light Blue).

Thank you for accompanying me on this harrowing trip down memory lane. Which of these 16 look components should I hang onto and which should be destroyed in the embers of my past? Well, that’s ultimately for me to decide, but I am interested in your opinions, if you have any. Love you all, no matter how long you’ve been hanging out with me.

<3 ESK

Hello all, as you well know, the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan in the past week and a half of my life, leaving me jobless, single, and fostering a sharp but somehow also radiant pain in my sternum at all hours of the day, occasionally erupting in jags of pointless, open sobbing that I only want one person to hear and I expect that person unsubscribed from my blog posthaste. The lives of many people around me seem to be crumbling in various horrific ways, too—another unsuccessful job app there, a ten-year-long relationship ending here, a pet slowly dying everywhere.

Luckily, most of my loved ones are dealing with their personal tragedies more gracefully than I and are able to be here for me as I do my best not to replay every grisly moment of New Year’s Eve with every other exhale. I am very lucky and have been showered with care packages, words of wisdom, and a few thoughtful gifts that have made their way into the below post, which is about comfort items. I’m literally too sad to care about the implications of clinging to objects as buoys in the Titanic-esque wreckage of my tiny little tragedy, so I hope you enjoy my little collection. Please, oh please comment or respond to this email and let me know what objects bring you comfort in times of turmoil, especially if they’re under $30 and readily available—in my lifetime I’ve tried everything from meditation pillows to literal cocaine, so I’m down for pretty much anything. Love you guys, thanks for riding the waves with me. I cannot wait for this to be over, one way or another.

Note: now that I’m officially unemployed and the process for collecting insurance is looking more and more Kafkaesque by the moment, I REALLY appreciate any job leads in PDX, NYC, or anywhere fun you can think of. Admin/office management is fine as long as the management isn’t wackadoo but I really goddamn want to write and edit. I know I can prove myself perfect for any editorial position if I’m just given the chance.

This is also an excellent time to subscribe to the paid tier of this blog for as little as $1.50/month or $15/year, and/or Venmo any amount to username em-sk with your preferred email as the note and I’ll set you up with a yearlong paid subscription. I am so, so indebted to all the friends and folks who have surrounded me with love and physical, emotional, and financial support this week and I promise with all my heart that one day, I WILL succeed enough to pay it back/forward.

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

Share

THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:

got me good with this one—when a friend offered to buy me any “self-care” item under $50 in honor of me getting shitcanned from job + love, I immediately thought of this mask, which MacKinley has been championing on her blog for weeks. I am waiting for it to come in the mail, but considering I usually find myself dozing off with my fists balled up and pressing devilishly into my eye sockets in a gesture of either comfort or vague self-harm, I think this baby will be put to good use paired with the Klonopin that just barely allows me to avoid The Bad Thoughts. MacKinley recommended I go with a darker shade because they block the light out better (I went with dark gray) and said that after a wash, they hold up but the fuzzy side might get a little weird, so I’ll see about that (I’m pretty intense about washing things that touch my face, so maybe I can get some sort of pillowcase for it?).

As you likely also know, my mission to find a genuinely supportive, orthopedic-level pair of shoes that aren’t hideous has become tied to my current agony. These Salewas look the part, at least—I wonder if they’re as stiff and unforgiving as a regular hiking boot or if their “Air” status means they have more grace and give. Love the color, at least!

My ex got me a freckle pen that was, I can finally admit publicly, the wrong shade for me (from another brand)—I tried the Freck pen at a friend’s house and suddenly feel frantic with need for one. Painting freckles on my face feels comforting to me, as does the resulting faux-sunned skin, reminding me of warmer days to come (and Maomao from The Apothecary Diaries, lol). Iwould be so, so happy if the brand sent me my very own ! : D !

I simply love the actual petrichor (not chemically, oakmossy faux petrichor so many fragrances have adapted as of late) that this candle imbues a living space with, and I wish I could afford it!

I found this candle at a local PDX vendor hall called Cargo for 50% off as it was a holiday special scent. It is literally burning as I type this, and I’ve been impressed with how the marshmallows and vanillic aspects of the fragrance rein in the peppermint from feeling too acrid or herbal (there’s a time and place for that, but not in The Comfort Zone). I also love the rather large, well-made vessel that can ostensibly be used as a catchall or salt cellar after the candle’s burned out, though I’ve been burning it a few hours a day for over a week and it’s still 2/3 full. Paddywax seems to be a good brand for quality scented candles in cool reusable vessels that don’t venture far above $30, which is pretty much my cap for what I’ll consider paying for a candle (and the sales are great, obviously!).

The day after The Bad Stuff went down, I picked up the D.S. and Durga sample pack because I was just so distraught I needed to smell something new to ground myself. My favorite of the bunch was Pistachio—oily in a good way, nutty of course, but mostly the ambient smell you get when you want your nose over a container of ice cream—maybe it’s freezer burn, but it melds really nicely with my skin!

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Hi guys. In the past week I got fired by an awful person and boss, realized my unemployment would not be enough to cover my rent, and then got dumped by someone I really love but knew things would never work out with in the long run (at the literal stroke of midnight on New Year’s, no less!). This year, I tried that pagan tradition of writing 13 wishes on paper and burning 12 betwixt solstice and New Year’s. The “theory” is that the 12 burnt wishes are released into the universe to be taken care of by powers beyond our control, while the 13th you have to take responsibility for yourself (my 13th wish was a boring, seemingly unachievable money-related long shot). I think I read the instructions wrong because while technically the traumatic events of the past seven days do further a few of the wishes I burnt into the ether, I was not prepared to be fully bodied by the fear, pain, grief, and loneliness that now jerk me around like a not-quite-up-to-code roller coaster. I am shocked I’ve even managed to write this paragraph, my fingers (and the rest of my body) feel so leaden. The pain is inside of my bone marrow. I swear this post includes fashion stuff, somehow.

Note: now that I’m officially unemployed and the process for collecting insurance is looking more and more Kafkaesque by the moment, I REALLY appreciate any job leads in PDX, NYC, or anywhere fun you can think of. Admin/office management is fine as long as the management isn’t wackadoo but I really goddamn want to write and edit. I know I can prove myself perfect for any editorial position if I’m just given the chance.

This is also an excellent time to subscribe to the paid tier of this blog for as little as $1.50/month or $15/year, and/or Venmo any amount to username em-sk with your preferred email as the note and I’ll set you up with a yearlong paid subscription. I am so, so indebted to all the friends and folks who have surrounded me with love and physical, emotional, and financial support this week and I promise with all my heart that one day, I WILL succeed enough to pay it back/forward.

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will set you up with a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Subscribe now

Share

Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

A very sad moment for me was yesterday when a package arrived: the sneakers my ex had taken me to get fitted for at a far-flung New Balance store where they measured my feet size and (apparently devastatingly flat) arches with a bewildering scanner just last week, though now it feels like eons ago. The guy at the store told me, when I asked for new Fresh Foams, that I needed to upgrade to their firmer model (as opposed to the cushier 1080s I wore until the soles were bald and useless) because of said fallen arches. I wore the shoes for the first time this morning out to shove a breakfast sandwich down my sickened gullet and they were, indeed, supportive, propulsive, and stable. The irony that they are the last vestiges of a relationship that did not quite fit those bills is not lost on me. Anyway, I recommend the shoes even though they’re pretty ugly because I have not yet been able to convince enough brands to send me free footwear for a deep investigative piece I’ve dreamed of for years now in which I finally discover orthopedic-quality shoes that aren’t hideous as sin. On that note…

Hoka is fully reheating Salomon’s nachos with bungee closures, sporty, crisscrossed detailing across the shoe body, and perversely cool colorways, but it seems that the shoes’ shapes and sole thicknesses actually lend themselves to people with tears, badly healed injuries, and connective tissue issues.

It’s a little on the nose, but I’m into it.

Can’t tell if I love or hate this colorway.

These might be good alternatives to Moon Boots for people who don’t have perfectly functioning bodies impervious to pain.

Well, in between writing the above and this my ex and I exchanged our respective things we’d left at each other’s houses and let’s just say I would not wish that pain upon my worst enemy. Luckily, the GOAT Snif came through this week with some delicious treats for me:

Syrupy-sweet but a little rough around the edges in a good way. Lasts FOREVER as it’s one of Snif’s few EDP-concentration fragrances.

Delicious, true marzipan opening with a gentle, honeyed musk dry down. I’ve worn it 24/7 since receiving, and it pairs great with Sweet Ash Super for added longevity.

I had already smelled the Off the Grid and Instant Karma candles, but I was especially impressed with Lost Claus, a festive but extremely sophisticated melange of cardamom, gingerbread, and vetiver. The projection of each tiny Votive is so impressive—they fill a whole living room/kitchen open concept situation after about five-ten minutes.

You already know how I feel about the pumpkin smash candles, but I was also pleasantly surprised by the apple cider—not too spicy, fresher than expected, crisp and cool and zingy. INSANE projection on both of these little guys.

Lastly, after hearing of my massive series of Ls, Big Bud Press freaking SENT ME AN $100 GIFT CARD with which I purchased 8 pairs of my favorite socks of all time. I’m especially excited for the royal blue.

Also, I bleached my eyebrows again and am planning on getting bangs soon. Whoopee.

Ok, well, I am having a hard time continuing to write without fully breaking down. I’m sorry this is a shorter post than usual and I love you guys for sticking around. If you have any job leads in PDX or NYC of any kind at all, please let me know. Or if you or someone you know wants to take me out on a date lol.

<3 ESK