Charm Offensive

Thoughts on commitment + five more costumes guaranteed to charm.

It’s been months since I’ve felt sartorially inspired—I haven’t been watching movies or even much TV (and you know when I do, it’s typically anime), I’ve barely acquired garments for the better part of a year, and styling work has slowed with the season change. I also haven’t, for quite a while, felt the elusive potential energy pull at the edges of my writing, signaling the possibility of a poem—I know most writers champion a daily practice, no matter the state of your mentality, and maybe I’ll pick that up someday soon, but I have literally never been able to write poetry without (typically randomly) slipping into a semi-transcendent state of focus that seems only to come a few times each year. It’s wildly inconvenient, and again, I’m sure there are things I could try to hone the raw instinct, but for various reasons, this past year has been a bad time to try and establish practices and rituals, though I’ve kept up with this blog newsletter to an extent that belies the drudgery of writing a fashion blog while poor.

One of the most important things I’ve learned in the past five years is that, for many including me, “following your passion” is an impulse that should be held in great suspicion and attended to AFTER “fulfilling your commitments.” Commitment, when approached in a way not heralded by resentment or shame, breeds passion, I’ve found (one of the reasons I think people on dating apps who make the shocked Pikachu face when their profile professing their pride in detachment attracts solely duds are very silly), so as long as I don’t revile this publication, I’ll be here at least once a week till AI-generated Shein hauls raise the CO2 levels in the atmosphere to the point that I’m forced to sell my laptop for a gas mask. I think I have a unique perspective on clothing which the right people (you all!) find valuable, and if the oddly tentative rumblings I’ve seen recently are indicative, the bottom may soon fall out of the strata of fashion Substack predicated upon gross displays of wealth, which my publication sure isn’t in any danger of!

I do like the constraint of the fashion sphere, because it gives prospective readers something to latch onto that they can firmly decide they are interested in or not, but I’ll likely keep testing how the edges of that genre can fray, especially while I don’t have the means to physically play with style how I’d like to. I love what externally-imposed constraints do for my creativity, and I’d love to collaborate on something with you, even if that simply entails you sending me a photo of a single garment of yours and me having to style it to your specs (or against them??). Maybe I’ll ask for submissions on Instagram this week, but feel free to send some as a response to this email if you’d like to throw your hat (or shirt, or thong…) in the ring).

The one thing that CAN get me jazzed, at any time of the year, is the Art of the Costume, so here are a five more ideas you can still pull off before Halloween if you lock in (check out last week’s ideas if you haven’t!) specifically tailored to charm everyone within a three-mile radius—dress responsibly and send pics!

If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts.

If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $2 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!

Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

Naughty Number Nine

My favorite number has always been nine for three reasons—most trite is that I was born on March 9th, most fake deep is that I have a special relationship with penultimacy, best is that I was absolutely in awe of this Schoolhouse Rock character as a kid—this is possibly the sole thing from my childhood that I’d gripe about “kids these days” having sanitized from their media experience. I want this vintage figurine badly. If you somehow own a vintage pink suit and are wondering how to style it without looking like a H*rry P*tter villain, this is your answer: with a tiny bowler hat,a blue striped shirt, and a tie sporting a psychedelic number nine, plus whiskers and a cigar (great excuse to buy a cigar—always a hit at parties!). I know what fuckboys have been up to these past for years while I was gone from the States—don’t tell me you haven’t stolen a pool cue from Carmelo’s that you can whip out to finish the look.

Photo op:

If you want to go the extra mile, make 9s out of craft store wads of cotton or something wrapped around wire, and pretend to be exhaling them as cigar smoke:

Harlequin Freddie

In April 1978, Queen performed at Deutschlandhalle in Berlin, where Freddie Mercury wore this nipple-baring harlequin catsuitsuit, a few thin gold chains, and not much else. Try your luck at Screaming Mimi’s if you’re in NYC—they had a single replica of the suit in a large-ish mens’ size—or see if you can rush ship one from the net if you’re brave or not on a timeline. Here’s one that’s a bit off, diamond size-wise, but looks nice, for $120 that arrives by H’ween if you order today. I’d personally wear this with my breasts taped under my armpits and a fully open chest, but if you have them and don’t feel comfortable with that, I think a tiny black bralette would do the look justice.

Photo op:

This:

Bacchante

Fake grapes are a criminally underrated buy often available at your local dollar store (and certainly a craft store)—I famously used them to dress as Wrath for a Seven Deadly Sins party I hosted long ago—and buying a bunch for your hair , adding a cheap white sheet, and never being seen without a vessel of some kind in your hand all night is a n absolutely breezy way to take the toga look a step beyond fratty into “potentially frenzied”—you “read” Euripides in college, right? This look is also nice because it’s so flexible—feel free to throw on a flowing white dress or an ivory shawl (even a blanket) instead of or in addition to your toga.

Photo op:

Get the dogs out for the gram if you must, but maybe BYOC (bring your own chalice) wherever you end up going for H’ween (I wonder if bartenders would hate or love you for asking them to fill yours) so you have a lovely vessel with which to pose blithely:

Pajama Sam

For the last-minuters: blue footie pajamas. $7 red cape. Can’t lose. Zillions of bonus points for spiking your hair into two bunches (this is the gel I swear by).

Photo op:

Either grab a box of cookie crisps/Chips Ahoy and let the chip crumbs fall as they may, as it were:

Or tote along a flashlight—in character and shockingly fun for party hijinks.

Charlotte and Wilbur

My last suggestion today is a couples’ costume fit for the duos who rightfully revile the “black cat gf” “golden retriever bf” dichotomy, but also kind of fit the bill (no matter the genders of the pair). One simply dresses in black with plastic fangs and six extra pinned-on pipe cleaner arms (or this Fashion Brand Company dress, if you have it!), the other wears a pig snout, ears, and tail, plus pink clothes and a vacant smile. The pièce de résistance should be:

Either somehow crocheted or, as above, fashioned from what seems to be wire and spray paint, a web Person #1 carries around all night woven with one of Charlotte’s sweet missives, the obvious top contender being “SOME PIG,” though I did see an “ACAB” version online that I wouldn’t be mad at in the wild!

Photo op:

Person #1 simply holds the web aloft over the head of Person #2—I think you can iron out the rest of the details. I trust you with this costume.

Send pics of any costumes you wear if they’re at all inspired by an Esque post (or even if they’re not and you just think I’d like to see them!).

<3 ESK