My Grandma Died and All I Got Were These Lousy Cashmere Sweaters
Just kidding Grandma, I love them. These are the ways I plan to wear them all fall and winter.
Hi guys! We all know my grandma Melinda Seely died a few months ago, but guess what? I’m still not over it!!!!! I think about her every stupid day and feel a pit of loneliness and despair where there once was some of the only truly unconditional love I’ve ever known!!!!! Hahaha anyway. She didn’t leave me anything, not even a maudlin note, which is so like her—her whole philosophy was “I’ll be gone, what do I care who gets what?”, which is inconvenient for me financially, but luckily I managed to snag a small trove of her clothes, all still scented by the rose sachets that peppered her closet and defined the olfactory landscape of large swaths of my childhood. Some nightgowns, a few quite ugly muumuus, some sweatshirts she inexplicably cut up in her last months (theory below as to why), cotton lounge pants, and best of all, a modest collection of really good cashmere that I’m already wearing like my life depends on it a week and change into September. Below, nearly 20 outfits comprised of the of the things she inadvertently left me (she’s the kind of person who would’ve said “throw the darned things away!”), alongside some outfits made with contributions from lovely friends, reminding me that I’m not alone in this stupid love of fashion that seems even stupider during fashion week and so, so stupid when one of your favorite people is dead.
If you like these posts, please let me know by liking and commenting here or on Esque’s Instagram, subbing to the Esque Substack (this) for free, getting bonus posts for five bucks a month, or for ZERO DOLLARS, share (tag me if on IG so I can see and thank you)! If you share with three friends (or enemies), you’ll automatically get a free month’s subscription to Esque’s paywalled posts. If you buy anything from an Esque link, there’s a chance I’ll earn a percentage commission at no cost to you—if you end up inspired by anything below, please send over a photo of your new togs by replying to this email and I’ll comp you a month of Esque!
If you cannot afford the $5/month, I totally understand—respond to any of my email sends and I will get you a $1.50 subscription or comp you, whatever you need. Esque is for everyone!
THANK YOU for being here, and I am always available @that.esque on Instagram for sartorial scandals/situations/summons. Here is a little preview of what’s below the paywall:
Sellout Segment
Before we begin the main event, I have decided that I’m going to try and include a few items every week that I either genuinely want or recently purchased with my own $$ in an effort to be more consistent with my affiliate links without being a total monster and compromising the quality of my blog, most of which is, as you know, centered around more abstract content and secondhand or DIY buys. I will always provide rationale for my recs and they will never be behind a paywall—even just clicking them helps me in my efforts to start getting free stuff from companies I’ve been giving free PR to for going on 5 years now, so your attention is much appreciated (and the stuff I’m including is actually cool and/or useful—no $890 fuckass jelly flats here, thanks)!
Unfortunately, this Din Tai Fung collab is the right kind of gimmicky to make me wish the 10+ holes I punched in my own ears a decade ago hadn’t long since closed up. I especially love the delicate little chopsticks holding the teensy dumpling. Din Tai Fung is one of the last places I got to share a meal with my grandma and it’s still my huge splurge comfort food (thank goodness there’s one here in PDX). I get the cucumbers even though I know they’re easy to make at home since the produce at my local supermarkets is way too iffy to compare, the wood-ear mushrooms, the vegan steam buns, the green beans, the spicy sesame noodles, and of course, the chocolate mochi (with some red bean and black sesame steam buns thrown in too if I just got paid lol). Well, realistically money-wise, I get like two of the above but it’s always solid and it always makes me miss Melinda.
I mentioned some negative feelings about this brand last week, but damned if they don’t make a mean V-neck sweater. 100% cotton, the perfect tightness of knit, the platonic ideal shape and depth of neckline, plus perfectly-wide ribbing on all edges. I’d size up given the brand’s proclivities toward minification, plus I think this style looks better a little slouchy.
I have never and might never own a Baggu because the craze turned me way off of them in a similar vein to Labubus, but if I ever do, it’ll be from this collection—I’d always wanted a Molly Goddard Ruffle bag but the insane price points just couldn’t work for me, and the styles in this collab are surprisingly adept at capturing what makes the Goddard originals so appealing. I’d probably pick up this lushly ruffled one in black so I couldn’t ruin it with stains, but I’m also charmed by this set of printed shopping bags. Who knows—maybe this will be my first and only Baggu purchase. I’m shocked they haven’t sold out yet, honestly!
I am constantly spraying my hands with sanitizer since I work touching random people’s used clothes (I know it probably does nothing but it gives me peace), so I’ve also started praying my face with this stuff—I’ve been breaking out randomly recently even though I sanitize my phone every night and haven’t changed anything in my skincare routine, so I’m praying this is a magic bullet!
I got these yesterday—they’re not great at tamping down voluminous hair like mine, but they make such a cool pattern with the dozen mini parts they create. I saw someone wearing one at my old job and have been craving one ever since, so I decided to try a cheap version out.
This is the platonic ideal Mac coat: pert little collar, slight A-line silhouette, slanted pockets. If I hadn’t found my dream coat on Depop (see below!), I might have gone with this one.
I love the mock neck on this sweater from my Grandma’s wardrobe—it’s an acrylic blend, but it’s both extremely soft and holds its structure very well, so I don’t care. It was stained at the collar with a bit of her makeup when I received it and it washed up perfectly in the machine, which was both heartening (I love the practicality of a machine-washable sweater) and melancholy. I wore it with a very Mia Thermopolis bucket-ish raffia hat I got at the store I work at for under $10, my trusty MNZ skort, a vintage Coach bucket bag, and vintage Justin boots I got on Depop.
I love the drama of a nightgown worn under just a coat as if escaping from a house fire in the middle of the night—this is my favorite of the nightgowns I “inherited,” a crisp poplin Eileen West number (Doen be damned)…
…but of course, the star of this show is the coat, a vintage bouclé Berroco brand piece, seemingly from the ‘60s, which I also found on Depop (I’ve been having crazy luck on there lately). The measurements made it seem like it wouldn’t fit, but I had a weird feeling it was worth the $30 to see, and, I mean—you can see that it pretty much looks tailored to my body.
The two best features of this coat are the bouclé, which means it will hide snags and stains much better than a smooth fabric, and this ADORABLE SAILOR COLLAR! I’ve never seen an overcoat with this detail before.
Union made, baby! I am so proud of this find.
Realistically, I will be wearing this coat with my grandma’s red cashmere cardigan, navy corduroy trousers from “Hunt Club”
sent me which I recently got hemmed, grandma’s cashmere scarf, and the vintage faux-fur toque I found a few weeks back at a local antique mall.
A much more unhinged styling of the sweater + trousers is with this Zelda tank I got for free at work, my beloved Poche (RIP) hat, and a Serial Experiments Lain necklace I bought in Argentina (let me know if you want a close up, it has a real pill embedded in its resin!). I feel like a cartoon character in this fit, in a good way.