This Little Piggy Went to Market
This Little Piggy Went to Market
A rare outing into the commercial chasm that is the luxury mall.
Hiya. I couldn’t sleep last night, did all my work in the hours between midnight and 5 am, but the lords of slumber had no mercy and I wasn’t able to conk out in the morning for more than two hours. Thus, in a fugue state, I headed to The Mall—South Coast Plaza to be exact, a famous (the most famous, I think) luxury mall in Southern California. I’d been maybe once in the past 10 years thanks to Uniqlo’s arcane in-store return policies, and had never set foot outside of my comfortable little Contempo Casuals corner where a $150 puffer jacket is the splurgiest things get.
Today, I suddenly remembered I work for a fashion publication and am always yapping about how I never get to *interact with* the clothes I write about (a phenomenon I’m hoping changes significantly once I’m back in NYC—one more month!!!), so I figured I’d see what was up with the material reality of these fantastical objects. I didn’t dare step foot in an actual luxury store. I can’t handle obsequious middle managers too battered down by the realities of capitalism to be “on my side” in the combative interaction that is an unsolicited sales pitch, and I genuinely don’t have any interest in interacting with clothes I can’t even imagine purchasing (again, TOTALLY open for PR gifts @ Miu Miu, Bally, Zimmerman, etc.), so I beelined straight to Nordstrom to check out the SPACE collection of “up and coming” designers that is one of my favorite haunts on the web.
It’s so funny how unappealing literally every other section of that store is to me—saturated with eyelet sundresses and summer cardigans, all the Ann Taylor and &other stories and whatever blended together, parting like the red sea when I spotted a rack of Vaquera. This Nordstrom still didn’t have a super robust SPACE section, but it was fun to be surrounded by clothes I’d actually wear. I tried on a few pieces, documented below, and may have ended up with one garment—read on and see which. Before that, I’ve included some photos of window displays in the fancier shops that caught my eye—nothing was particularly compelling, to be honest, but I noticed a few interesting phenomena I thought I’d note.
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Above is the haphazard fit in which I arrived at the hallowed halls of South Coast Plaza, though I will note that my Sapir Bachar necklace (gloriously and generously gifted to me by the brand) made me feel like I could hold my own against the overfed masses.
First up, the above Max Mara fit was the only attempt at styling that seemed to grace these storefronts, making a case for a popped collar and affirming what I’ve been saying for months (that now is common knowledge)—cobalt is the new cardinal (though for me, a Lapis Lazuli lover, it’s more than just a passing trend).
Don’t like the above outfit, also Max Mara, but observe: bucket hat #1…
…#2, I believe at Madewell…
…#3, heinously styled at Sandro…
…#4…maybe Madewell again? Sorry, I was unprofessional and didn’t take thorough notes.
Suffice it to say, bucket hats, especially really long-brimmed and floppy ones OR structured straw ones are popping off this summer for the first time in a few years. Do your thing, Emily Dawn Long.
The above Miu Miu SS24 was so underwhelming in person—like, I’d genuinely be embarrassed to wear that oversized logo polo that costs over a grand when an ill-fitting polo in more interesting colorways can be found for $5 max at the thrift store Dad section. I do like the thick belt on the jeans, but all in all, Miu Miu has recently been, to me, the epitome of paying solely for the label, which I despise.
I liked the weird Bally styling on the right, above—the clunky leather vest over a boxy navy t-shirt really did something for me and made the wadded-up polka-dot skirt look transcendent in person, no Minnie Mouse pitfalls here.
I thought the above was interesting at Zimmerman—the weird dress/overall/skirt with suspenders hybrid with the neckline that almost reaches the belly button I’ve only seen before at Vaquera, the antithesis of Zimmerman’s M.O., but I like the shape. I also included this because quirked-up lace seems to be another prominent theme this season:
I loved the completely impractical deployment of teeny lace shorts under a perfectly purple mohair (?) v-neck sweater, the seasonal confusion and slightly different hues creating a delicious tension—but can we PLEASE choose a shoe with a sole/soul?
My last note before Nordstrom was on this intimidating scene at Dior—boring clothes, but the shoes reminded me of the Carel ladder “boots” that seem to only be owned by Ruby Redstone and have otherwise vanished from the interwebs entirely. Bring them back!
On to the try-ons:
This Renaissance Renaissance dress was nice and sturdy, great material, no issues with the zipper or clasp, no obvious issues with the tulle, and I loved the drop waist—but it’s one of the label’s most generic dresses to date, and I wasn’t tempted to go into (more) credit card debt for a fairly quotidian LBD.
This Shushu/Tong blazer was a great shape (I love raglan sleeves as a chronically slippery-shouldered person), but its quality was not up to par for the price—buttons were hanging on by threads poking through already-fraying button holes. The Sacai shorts were nice, they billowed more in person than comes through on camera (reminding me of yet another Vaquera piece, this skirt I’ve coveted for years), but I can’t imagine the way sweat would puddle up in the underpants-like underlayer on a hot day in this water-resistant fabric. It’d be a crotch greenhouse.
Loved this polo—it fit like a dream (though is it just me, or is the single button a little weird?), the colors were perfect, the collar laid in just the way I like—but from what I know about ethical production costs, materials (viscose + polyester, and it feels like that), and markups, this could MAYBE justify a $200 price tag. $500 is ridiculous, especially considering the next item on the docket, and I predict these will go on mega sale in the near future.
I never thought I’d fuck with one of Vaquera’s under-as-outerwear pieces, but this one was impeccably made and I felt so *gender* wearing it (though, as is usually the case with me, the sleeves were too damn long). The bra extends all the way to the back, where it clasps snugly, and I LOVE the detail of the shirt button infringing on the bra’s sternum. This shirt invites speculation and DIY copycats, which all the best clothes do, and I can kind of see how it justifies the price tag—a perfect 100% cotton shirt and the immaculate positioning of the bra might warrant $500, but make it even zanier that the above polo costs the same amount.
I think I’m over Pleats, Please. Everything I tried on felt cheap—I know polyester isn’t inherently bad (contrary to TikTok opinion) and to achieve the immaculate plissé is, in fact, necessary—but dresses exactly like these if not more interesting by Argentine designers go for maybe $100 tops. PP was the blueprint, and is important in that right, but I wouldn’t spend money on the brand name.
Haha now we get to the embarrassing moment where I tried not one, but two PP pieces on fully backwards! I was wondering what the funky boob gap was doing (I kind of liked it more than the straightforward PP dress, to be honest), but I really don’t like this worn the “correct” way, as below.
Second jumpsuit I tried on backwards—I’ll give the boob weirdness grace for that reason, and I liked the leg shape and v-neck way more than those rinky dink overalls—I even like their length on Very Short me, much better than the cropped length as seen on the model below. Still would pay $200 tops for this.
Onto Collina, starting with the least interesting: my Argentine friend Faesidium makes lace bloomers and boxers way better-made and more interesting than these, IMO. I’d wear them if I got them for free, they’re not bad-looking at all and would be cute poking out from under a slovenly, oversized t-shirt, but look how much more compelling these are:
The sales associates were obsessed with trying to get me to buy this dress, but I don’t think Collina does viscose and polyester as well as it does cotton. It was hard to get on and off, scratchy, and felt like it’d rip in an instant. I do like an areola-bait neckline, though, and hope to see more soon…
The dress is styled so poorly on SSENSE you can’t even tell what it actually looks like, so I used a pic from the site where it’s sold out (maybe I really can’t tell what people like these days! I’m a hack and a fraud):
I DO love a bit of Collina mesh (not that awful dead stock lace with zero stretch I almost had an aneurism trying to fit into when I bought a sheer turtleneck on Depop years and years ago), and the sternum arc is “flattering,” for the little that word is worth—if the above tee and the one immediately below are the same, take that as a warning that CS products photograph very differently than they wear.
Finally! Star Tee, my beloved! I’d always liked Collina’s bundled-up, scrunchy stars, whether in hoodie iterations or short sleeves, and this top was a dream from moment one of wearing it. At first, I liked the crop of the small, above, but the sleeves felt a little tight, and then I realized I actually liked the hemline (and extra breathing room) of the medium, below. The fabric is the perfect olive shade and 100% cotton, the stitching seems sturdy enough, and this is a piece I can see myself defaulting to as an actually-inspired depression uniform or a casual-but-quirked-up first date top.
OH, and REMINDER/OBVIOUS BUT IMPORTANT TIP: be nice to whichever sales associate is helping you for general humanity reasons but also because when you (smartly) look up how much the shirt is going for on different websites, you’ll notice it’s priced $30 more at Nordstrom than on Collina’s own site, and if you ask nicely, they’ll price match for you.
I didn’t even mention these PP pants, because they were so uninteresting and blah to me (I tend to like pleats more in a wider-leg pant, anyway), but here they are for posterity:
What an odyssey! Time to get back in bed in my new shirt, nurse my bad hip, and never go outside again.
<3 HR
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