Universal Birthday Income
What I'd buy if the government mandated I treat myself.
Hey! It’s my birthday in 2.5 weeks (are you just shocked that I’m a Pisces?), and though I do believe in the implementation of a Universal Basic Income and don’t wish to belittle the concept, I also believe in the Universal Birthday Income—that the government should give each and every citizen a rack ($1,000, not boobs, unless that’s what they want) on their birthday with the stipulation that they must spend it on fun and/or delightful items. I understand that, standing alone, this kind of stimulus would be just another visible manifestation of class stratification, but if added on TOP of the other UBI, I’d hope that everyone’s basic needs would be taken care of to the point that mandated frivolity could be welcome, not cruel and unusual.
If given $1,000 now, I’d have to pay down my debt, settle my taxes, buy a few cases of the unsweetened sparkling water that has taken over an inordinate portion of my life (the best flavors are lemongrass coconut and GREEN BEAN. Seriously), and that would pretty much be that, but if the president himself told me I had to blow it all on pure desire, the below would be my shopping list. There’s still time to pass this bill before March 9th, Mr. Biden, and then hey, I’d have one actual reason to vote for you that’s not just “orange man bad” :-)
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You guys, not only are Zn ali sets extremely well-priced for their design specs and high-end materials, they ship worldwide for free, and….! They offer CUSTOM SIZING AT NO CHARGE. You can get a TAILORED SUIT, in this case vest + button-down + trousers, for a price most ateliers would charge just for one component. The infinite styling possibilities, the utility of each item on its own, the way each piece interlocks with the others *just so* to make it clear the three were intentionally designed to create a full look…it’s all incredibly impressive. The people behind the brand are extremely cool and accommodating, and I hope one day to get this suit, perhaps in navy blue, if that becomes a possibility. If I could only get one style, I’d choose this for pragmatism’s sake, but take a look at this embroidered set…they don’t miss.
I have not yet succumbed to the Baggu craze, as I tend to get the heebie-jeebies from companies that create products ostensibly designed to reduce waste/replace single-use products but then rely on marketing themselves as collectible items, but at least these bags won’t give anyone LEAD POISONING! I also haven’t been drawn to any of the Baggu graphic design until this year—I’m not super into cartoon florals or Boygenius.
Anyway, the first bag above is more aspirational than anything—I like its jaunty chartreuse and pillowy handles long enough to sling over a shoulder, but what I’m really attracted to is the possibility of travel sometime in my future. I am so sick of only ever flying with every single thing I own stuffed into duct-tape duffels that leak tampons or dirty laundry as I try to hustle them through security and long for a “chill travel experience” where everything fits into one smug little carry-on, and this one would be my pick for a relatively affordable but still sturdy-looking option.
The second bag is the only patterned Baggu I really like right now. I literally always need extra bags due to my constant, ad hoc, poorly-executed moves, but also, I’m back in CA right now, where some places are weird about giving you disposable bags. My thing is—I use every SINGLE plastic bag I’m given at a store as a trash bag, a shoe or dirty laundry bag in a pinch, or a poop scooper when I’m around dogs I like. How is it, sustainability-wise, better for me to purchase plastic bags for the sole purpose of those functions when I can reuse a shopping bag? I don’t think it is, and I will continue to accept plastic bags when I need to, but this reusable one would be nice for when they cost like 50 cents.
Something feels so wrong it’s right about loafers without their tongues (or whatever the folded-over part of the vamp is called, I want to go with “tongue,” sorry shoe-philes). I like the construction of Hereu shoes, but for some reason, I don’t love how they make their “tongues,” and most of the options on sale right now are Mary Jane or T-bar style, which to be honest, I am quite exhausted by at the moment. I really did not like the 2023 collective psychosis over “girlhood” and am feeling its aftereffects in a distaste for anything that references coquetry or school uniforms: pleated skirts, Peter Pan collars, and strappy shoes are all turn-offs for me at the moment. These shoes feel a little off-kilter, just enough to feel energetic, but are so simple in construction that they could well be worn every day. I feel like I’d have fun pairing them with eclectic socks.
All the other clothes on this list have been very neutral and tame, so I figured I’d inject a dose of abstraction into my shopping list. I like the swimsuit-like construction of the torso of this top, its grumpy color combination, and most of all its hybridity—you can wear it as a long sleeve OR short sleeve top:
I could see myself wearing this 100% of the year as an easy statement piece that wouldn’t resist being styled but wouldn’t fall flat with just a pair of jeans or sweats.
This candle takes me $5 over my $1k budget, but you know what, I’ll pay that fiver out of pocket for this candle that smells exactly like what it says on the tin. Nice and creosote-y, with a hint of rare desert petrichor (the smell after rain). Way too expensive for a candle, but I smelled and looked in a store (where it was $10 MORE expensive?) and can confirm this candle will last the rest of the cold season and then some.
It’s interesting that, if given the Universal Birthday Income, my selections would veer towards the a) pragmatic and b) olfactory. I’ve never been a fan of minimalism, but I have found myself more drawn to uniform-style clothing sets lately—maybe I’m just burnt out and don’t want to make decisions anymore. As for the scent obsession—you’ve gotta add flavor to your life somehow while staying in Irvine.
See you soon!
<3 HR
Something that I love about Kismet too is that the founder's mom helps run the operations and she's such a sweet person to email (since I kept ordering for pick up in NYC). I feel like each scent is the collection has notes I wouldn't normally gravitate towards but the execution is so good (like the humid florals of Tuberose Tantra or Nympheas, the only marine I've liked and I've been complimented on). Incredible craftsmanship fr fr
I got a roller of Kismet Olfactive’s The Poet last year & have been meaning to splurge on the full size bottle! I am also a Pisces so perhaps this is the push I needed to treat myself for my birthday!