Everything I Want for My Birthday Costs Less Than $50
A Björnament, old toothbrushes, the smell of Skype, a very satisfied hippo, and more. All under $50.
Heyyyy! It’s my birthday next week and I have been delighting in scouring the internet for little treasures that I could potentially ask my loved ones for or gift myself. Below are around 30 of the things I’ve found and either gotten, will probably get at some point, or long for, from books to DIY-able mouthwash decanters to perfumes that smell like Skype and vintage toothbrushes. All but one thing is under $50, because I know how it is going out there right now and I can’t personally afford any more than that when buying gifts! The best possible birthday gift for me, though, is free: you liking, commenting on, and sharing Esque posts. Ok vamos!
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My <3 got me this book that I’ve been wanting to read for months—it’s coming out soon in paperback, which is how I’d recommend reading it, as it feels a little silly carrying around a hardback of such a slim tome. However, I couldn’t wait to read it and hardcovers, though I’m not a huge fan, trump ebooks any day. It’s a taut, wry story of relationships and playing roles and the fragmentation that both endeavors entail. I’m halfway through and really liking it so far—a good read if you’re having trouble reading.
When I found out that Mona Awad wrote a sequel to Bunny that’s essentially the same book written in the perspectives of the covenish cult that terrorizes the first book’s protagonist, I knew I had to take a look. I picked it up from my favorite local indie bookstore, also (annoyingly) in hardcover, because it’s on hold for the next three million years at the library. Let me know if you want a more thorough review once I’m done!
This is the first niche scent I ever owned back when the travel size was capped with a roller ball. I’m beyond thrilled that right as I hit pan on my first bottle (10mL lasted me over a year and a half!), I found out that the brand had switched their travel packaging to atomizers. It’s so much easier and more delightful to apply now, but the scent has not changed one bit: comprehensively heady leather is sweetened and made even more seductive with the addition of an anisic twang, as if a drop of Pastis had fallen on a worn leather couch and then baked in the sunlight that filters in through cafe windows. Here’s to another happy few years for me and Nostalgia!
I can’t wait for this to come in the mail because, yes, I got it. I have both fond and dubious memories of my time on Skype (a lot of being 17 and chatting with grown men who loooooved Murakami’s novels), and I’m so ready for a sharp pang of nostalgia when I open the light-up box and hear the Skype ringtone. I’m just as excited for the scent itself, which promises ozone, citrus, and white florals, making me think of my sterile hours of computer time as wafts of jasmine floated through the window, beckoning me to give up the screen and come outside.
My friend kindly sponsored the purchase of this second Unjust perfume (check out the brand’s website for uniquely cheeky and charming aughts/2010s memorabilia like Club Penguin belts and Windows charm bracelets) because we’re both so curious as to what it smells like—I’m prepared for Softsoap, which makes me think of my late grandma’s guest bathroom in my childhood, so I’m hoping to feel connected to her when I smell this. Great prices for both bottles, too.
Another creative and singular scent, Liza Pittard’s Stone reminds me of soil drenched in Fernet out of which springs a miraculously-vibrant mint leaf. It’s fresh, intense, and very forest-witchy.
Speaking of forest witches, I’ve been entranced by the Lemuria catalog since hearing of the brand, and its Circe candle is no exception: the listed notes are
warm oregano bread
kalamata olive oil
crushed seashells
ergot infused kykeon
fermented grape leaves
You could say I’m intrigued, enraptured, even. Other candles in the collection boast notes like bok choy, funnel cake, and camphor. The full-sized candles are steeply-priced, so I’ll probably end up trying minis, though I genuinely CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH buying a candle warmer to help justify investing in candles, as with it they’ll last for months, if not years, as opposed to days or weeks.
Another glorious candle, this one I smelled in a local shop a few days ago and was impressed by its photorealistic basil note. It’s a cute gimmick that the packaging ostensibly grows a basil plant, too. This might be my summer room scent.
I actually saw these in person at that same shop and if I were going to burn candles instead of warming them, these would be the matches I’d want to do it with. The house is bigger than you might think and would make an adorable addition to a table’s centerpiece or on the ledge of a mirrored sconce alongside a small candle.
Another adorable match receptacle! I wonder how heavy it is?
I’m now, thanks to Pinterest, fixated on the idea of a crystal decanter full of mouthwash in my bathroom. I suppose I’d have to thrift a nice little cup to go with it too, right? Something about the unnatural, alienlike colors in the slightly-stuffy glassware really gets me good.
This dusty purple is a truly unique mouthwash shade and I love the extra-pointy cap. I wonder if mouthwash loses its integrity if it’s exposed to too much air?
I am SO IN LOVE with this Etsy full of packs of vintage toothbrushes in patterns ranging from glittery stars to gingham to… pink with pelican stamps? Having these to dole out to guests or grab when you’re on the go instantly makes one 10000x cooler.
These remind me of the aesthetics of one of my long-documented favorite movies, Daisies (1966). They might be my favorites of the bunch—so corny, yet so unfathomably gorgeous of a detail.
A silly sub-$10 thing I often use and could stand to upgrade is the microfiber cloth, rendered by Nerd Wax as almost anything you could possibly think of, from a leatherbound copy of Les Miserables to a concha (THE PASTRY, you perverts). This underwear feels like it would be a disarming thing to whip out at a fancy dinner…
…but this one’s the most hardcore…
…and my only gripe with this one is that it isn’t life-size. I don’t want an obviously fake huge Dorito, give me something that throws any witnesses for a loop!
There are so many coconut masks to be found online for sub-$50, but the peaked chin of this radish really spoke to me.
There is something extremely pleasing about this horse’s rotund belly and the vase neck sticking out of it—this would IMMEDIATELY make any bouquet seem intentional and feel expensive in a compelling way, not a boring way.
I had never thought Perler beads could look sophisticated until I saw this photo—utilizing its chunkiness and honeycomb pattern to mimic the texture of a cross-stitch is the way to make this look better than a child’s mangled craft. They’re surprisingly versatile once you get that aesthetic down…
…and can be used to rim otherwise-boring stuff like light switches and heating fixtures with minimal effort/installation grief.
Perler picture frames are really sick too. Besides the pattern, it’s all about inventive, breathtaking color combinations… consult the GOAT freely.
I think I mentioned nichos in a recent post but if not, they’re shadow boxes of sorts that originated in Latin America and are used for anything from displaying artwork to exalting photos of loved ones who have passed in Dia de Los Muertos ofrendas or altars. They can be used secularly as decorative shelving, too, and this one is especially cool as it’s encrusted in milagros, tiny metal charms that represent prayers, vows, and gratitude. My dream is to create a nicho like this with milagros I collected, each one signifying a specific moment or desire.
I’d actually never seen a metal veil like this on a wine bottle before, but now I’m like, they really should just come like this. Does anyone know how to make this, like, is there a specific way, or should I just try freestyling it with some jump rings, pliers, and a dream?
Delicious!
Beads are an underrated gift—these could be braided into hair, hung on ribbons down the wall, added to a charm necklace, stuck on the stems of flowers, glued to toothpicks as garnishes…
Look at this guy’s pleasant expression and weep with exultation! The neck rolls, the tiny ears, everything about him is designed for my particular delight. This Etsy is a gold mine for cake toppers that will live on long after the crumbs have been digested. I wonder what else could be put in the hole… toothpicks? A flower stem?
I love this slutty little elf backin’ it up onto, ostensibly, your cupcakes, but what is that black thing on its leg? Am I going crazy?
I think ornaments are severely unfairly relegated to Christmastime, when in reality, there is totally reason to ornament one’s life year-round, especially when you can find treasures like this Björnament that are decisively season-agnostic. It looks like the swan is flocked, meaning it’d be fuzzy to the touch, which is a fun detail! I’d hang this on a hook or ribbon on the wall of a white-tiled bathroom.
I love the little details on this all-purpose ornament like the swirls where it attaches to its handle/hanger. The empty eye is a little disturbing and I don’t even want to imagine how it’d look if one tried to fill it with something like a pom-pom or a googly eye.
This is probably made out of burlap-like material harvested from the plastic found in the stomach of dead whales or something evil like that, but it is a BANGER of a fun, dynamic zip-up hoodie (a garment that has eluded me for years and the importance of I continue to be reminded of as my hair grows longer and pulling it through a crew neck while styled becomes more and more of a miserable feat).
I thiiiink this is way overpriced but I just thought this velveteen cami was a super cool and unique going-out top that would work in any season with the right outerwear (or lack of it) and straddles sensibilities from gothic to cyberpunk to retro.
My friend Erin got me a classic vintage giraffe stuffed animal that looks just like the one on this banner, which I think would be a darling addition to party decor or just a perennial fixture in one’s room.
Another festive detail that, when strung high near the ceiling, would bring so much color, dimension, and height to any room it graced.
Finally, I’m cheating and including a few Tulip lampshades that are way over the $50 budget I allocated, mostly just because I wanted to mention the brand’s sweet bloomer-inspired collection replete with ruffles and adorable tucks.
This is probably the one I’d get for my room as I’m loosely inspired by circus theming in my decorative sensibilities thanks to my now over ten-year-old, extremely well-documented on this blog love of the film Santa Sangre.
I can’t tell if these are DIYs or part of an artist collab collection made by Tulip itself, but I think these personalizations actually seem doable, and that’s coming from someone who has literally sewn fabric into their skin before.
Thank you so much for being here. I’m pretty happy right now (still jobless, lol, coincidence?) and I’m so grateful for all the lovely people who buoy me and shower me with love all year long, including you.
<3 ESK
That little elf is meant to hang on the edge of a bowl or vase—the thing on its leg was originally a ladybug. I have one of these from the 1950s (was my grandmother’s), and these are likely cast from the old designs.
I love the Bjork swan Dre ornament!
Happy almost birthday!!🥰💕
Love this! I enjoy seeing the little treats people are looking to get. That wine bottle veil/armour is super easy to do by yourself. With jumprings some pliers and a few additional craft store finds you can have a nice crafty evening. By studying the pictures, you‘ll get it quickly with a few adjustments in the beginning💕